i am VIVIAN.
i study in singapore polytechnic.
i like to
DOODLED at 12:32 AMchristmas party is over.
christmas this year... is not christmas.
not without the usual family party at valerie's. everyone's gone overseas. i'm going to instill a family rule next year, no one is allowed to leave singapore during festive seasons.
its not christmas when i dont see the huge christmas tree flooded with presents underneathe, us opening the gifts together happily.
its not christmas without my uncle roasting our very own turkey and slicing it to perfection, with a whole table of other food prepared by grandma.
its not christmas at all this time.
its not fair, leaving the rest back to celebrate alone. BLAH.
its our first christmas without Grace, and it feels horrible.
it has been an emotional week, for myself and for some other friends i guess. hah!
depressing, very very depressing. yesterday, on the 25th dec, was the day i felt true disappointment in humankind. for loads of reasons, really.
god should give me a reason to smile soon.
as 2007 draws to a close, we're nearing the day when Grace left us forever. and i wonder how we'll all react when the day finally arrives. everything will rush back in, and you cant run away from thinking about it anymore. the memory will be fresh, raw, painful.
that gaping hole among us that can never be filled again; thats gonna show up like orange against black, pricking all our hearts to hell.
every year today, by this time, i would be uploading pictures of all my presents, giving christmas thanks, saying how much i enjoy christmas every year.
today, its so different.
everything's different now. we're broken, in a sort of way, i guess. like a puzzle that has a missing piece. or a book with a page torn away. we're all so lost without her. i still cant believe she's gone. it doesnt matter how much time has passed.
oh, this truly sucks. when i think of her, i feel like everything else i'm doing is childish, meaningless, senseless, worthless.
BLAH!
tag
DOODLED at 12:32 AMchristmas party is over.
christmas this year... is not christmas.
not without the usual family party at valerie's. everyone's gone overseas. i'm going to instill a family rule next year, no one is allowed to leave singapore during festive seasons.
its not christmas when i dont see the huge christmas tree flooded with presents underneathe, us opening the gifts together happily.
its not christmas without my uncle roasting our very own turkey and slicing it to perfection, with a whole table of other food prepared by grandma.
its not christmas at all this time.
its not fair, leaving the rest back to celebrate alone. BLAH.
its our first christmas without Grace, and it feels horrible.
it has been an emotional week, for myself and for some other friends i guess. hah!
depressing, very very depressing. yesterday, on the 25th dec, was the day i felt true disappointment in humankind. for loads of reasons, really.
god should give me a reason to smile soon.
as 2007 draws to a close, we're nearing the day when Grace left us forever. and i wonder how we'll all react when the day finally arrives. everything will rush back in, and you cant run away from thinking about it anymore. the memory will be fresh, raw, painful.
that gaping hole among us that can never be filled again; thats gonna show up like orange against black, pricking all our hearts to hell.
every year today, by this time, i would be uploading pictures of all my presents, giving christmas thanks, saying how much i enjoy christmas every year.
today, its so different.
everything's different now. we're broken, in a sort of way, i guess. like a puzzle that has a missing piece. or a book with a page torn away. we're all so lost without her. i still cant believe she's gone. it doesnt matter how much time has passed.
oh, this truly sucks. when i think of her, i feel like everything else i'm doing is childish, meaningless, senseless, worthless.
BLAH!