recycle bin.

2008-08-31T22:44:00.000+08:00

BLAH BLAH!

2008-03-26T00:30:00.002+08:00

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN. =)

bye.

PS. this means, i shifted.

2008-03-19T23:19:00.001+08:00

AUGUST RUSH is amazing. =)

2008-03-15T15:38:00.000+08:00

i need to CHANGE.

or so i think.

2008-03-14T10:10:00.002+08:00

wa lao eh.

FOE was exhuastion, coldness, sweat, sore throat, sticky fingers, and more exhaustion.

started working on it from monday night, then on to whole of tuesday, then on to the whole of wednesday, THEN slept over wednesday night, then on to whole of thursday for enrolment. WHAT THE HELLLLL.

the sleep over was horrible. -_- the whole point was to get MORE sleep since reporting time on thursday morning is freaking 7am. but we ended up only sleeping 2 hours; thats for the more sane people. as for the insane people, they went around hiding people's stuff everywhere in the room, then climbed out the gate to walk all the way to clementi to eat fishball noodles and back.

afterwhich, the sane people got really pissed. felicia jocelyn and lishi all woke up to find their spectacles + handphones+ slippers gone. and the room was pitch DARK. -_- so we ended up swapping the insane people's bag's content around. DARRYL KOK'S SIMPSONS BOXERS ended up in edsmond's bag. =)

disturbed night. =\

i really thought on thursday we're all just gonna drop dead somewhere around noon. had totally no energy left to do anything.

BUT. surprisingly, we still can get damn high. especially when the tourism year1s came... me darryl edsmond and jordan all geared up in recruiting. almost everyone we briefed on signed up for the camp. =D

anyway, we talked till our throats were sore and our voices changed sexy! repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat until i nearly went CRAZY. everyone got so familiarised with the content that we spoke like bullet trains without pausing.

"HELLOimVIVIANfromschoolofbusinessclubwelcometoSB!sorightnowihavetobriefyouon2thingsfirstlyitisFOPfreshmenorientationprogrammewhichisa4dayseventthateverySPstudenthastattenditiscompulsorysonowletslookatyourFOPbrochure1stdaywillbeBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH."

woohoo.

but it was all worth it. we hit the cap of 200 by mid afternoon! so all the waiting list people can go fly kite now. =)

stripped the room with bloody hell lots of effort together with everyone. and home sweet home where i knocked out till this morning.

NOW, we're going to the ZOO ZOO ZOO, how about YOU YOU YOU?

2008-03-10T23:54:00.002+08:00

soooooooooo.

my hair is in a mess.

in the midst of creating a new blog skin.

i set my alarm wrongly at 7.45PM, and thus was late for FOC meeting today. =X

we did quite some work for FOE room tonight.

AHHHH i'm a freaking KOALA.

i need to do something to my outrageous hair.

darrylKOK is a damn funny guy who has no apples. HAHA!

everything is turning upside down. or maybe, i was just too ignorant to notice. or maybe, i was just too stubborn to acknowledge.

10000BC turned out to be a nice show, PHEW. evelette is PRETTY!

TOMORROW! FOE preparations.

2008-03-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

watched an episode on qian xian zui zhong, regarding ahmeng's death.

T_T

i guess 48 years is already a very long life to have lived, for an orang utan. still, its going to be different in the zoo for everyone, i think. when i worked there, every morning without fail, sam would take ahmeng for her morning walk. occasionally, when the other orangs throw tantrums and refuse to show at their photography/breakfast sessions, ah meng would fill in for them. so grandmotherly. *sniff*

i miss the zoo. the booth. siti, atiqah, fatin, alin, auntie yvonne. and my boss, whom i so cruelly forgot the NAME. shit. and all the orangs... chomel is the only name i remember. and who's that sweet presenter who's always gossiping with us... cant remember her name either. blah. my memory is failing me. oh and the snakes at breakfast! ramon, and the other one... forgot his name too. and mohsen from the jungle restaurant! oh-so-friendly.

poo. poor sam. 37 years of caring for ahmeng...

ANYWAY, went back to AJ to see the rest collect their A level results today. shan't comment... only that, i thank GOODNESS i quit school. =X

whats over, is over anyway.

2008-03-06T00:07:00.002+08:00

after downloading millions of brushes from deviantart, and 3.5 solid hours of staring into my computer, i actually managed to come up with something. vivian is proud of herself. for once.

EHHH. i need the crack to unlock photoshop CS3 in my laptop. QUEK TENG YEOWWWWW! send it to me pleeeeaaaseeeeee. =X

SP orchestra practice today. mr lee wrote a new song. 舞曲。(Wu Qu) and i think its a nice song.

humm. collecting sponsorship items tomorrow. GAHH.

school is starting damn soon. i dont feel rested. =(

the enrolment package this year is too pretty. thats not fair.

YEO RUI PING is in school of business, DBA. woohoo. ken got into DMAT. and jiajia is in CLS.

theres something missing.

who cares. i'm going to watch my favourite RABI whack people with his hammer now. toodles.

2008-03-05T00:24:00.002+08:00

RABI ; from d gray man.

mmmm. katsura hoshino is a genius to have created this character. =D

Oodzuchi Kodzuchi BAN BAN BAN! (grow GROW GROW!)

his hammer rocks. HAMMER TIME!

2008-03-02T21:55:00.005+08:00

so they're all the same.

i'm afraid of a lot of things. its called, PANTOphobia, i believe. the fear of everything. what a silly fear and i wonder which nonsensical person thought of it. nothing is part of everything, so if i'm afraid of everything, then technically, i'm afraid of nothing, too. right?

urghhh whatever.

i'm afraid of everything, i dont even mind saying i'm a coward.

speaking of cowards, i watched a show once, where the host of the show asked the live audience, "Which of you are cowards, please raise up your hands." no one raised their hands. then the host proceeded to say, "Which means, all of you ARE cowards. True cowards dont dare to raise up their hands."

well.

i'm afraid of a lot of things. i cant do so many things because i dont have courage. i dont like heights. i cant swallow pills. i'm afraid of the dark. i dont like to eat sour stuff. i dont dare to wear contact lenses. neither do i dare to trim my eyebrows because of the pain. i dont like playing SOLOs. i cant cycle. and truth be told, LO AND BEHOLD, i dont like leading either.

but people like to change these things of mine. like they see it as a problem, they could help to solve it.

they tell me, "Vivian, you can CONQUER your fear of heights! force yourself to look down. cross that bridge a million times a day. just do it. i know you can do it. you have to overcome this!"

but, why?

they tell me, "Vivian uh... wear contact lenses lah! really. you can do it de. its not painful at all... just try. just one time! i guarantee you can wear it. dont need to be scared!"

but... why?

they tell me, "go pluck your eyebrows lah vivian! its not painful. the most, only painful for first few times. after that not pain le. really. just try lah. no need to be scared."

but. WHY?

they tell me, "... just swallow the pill lah. put it at the end of your mouth, drink water, swallow! so easy. you can do it de. whats there to be scared of?? keep doing it. you'll get used to it."

but, why?

they tell me, "vivian. its really your turn to do a solo this time... seriously, why dont you try? you should! i know you're scared. everyone also will scared mah. but you must OVERCOME that, and do one solo at least!"

but.... why.

they tell me, "ahya, just cycle a bit around here, then you can do it already. it just takes some warming up. you can do it de. once u learn how to cycle, you can sure cycle de! just try a few rounds here, then we go out. come on vivian, dont like that lah, we must go cycle together!"

why oh why?

try it. try it. just try. once only. really. just once. try it. just try it once. try it try it try it try it try it try it try it TRY IT TRY IT.

bloody hell. they're all the same. everyone of them.

well, dont mind me. this... THING just struck me in the middle of nowhere today. may i ask, but whats wrong with cowards anyway? i like being a coward. i like being scared of everything, and i like doing all i can to stay inside my comfort zone, and i like doing everything i can to avoid all my fears. what the hell is wrong with that anyway? i just dont get it. really.

OR, maybe, theres just something wrong with vivian ang. maybe.

today. orchestra practice was FLOODED with people. especially woodwinds. dizi had to split into 2 rows. extremely rare sight. which was... nice. even though during combine the music we played was... HORRIBLE. but just, once in a while, when there are so many people at practice, it feels so hopeful. =)

went to watch PAYCO perform at esplanade Beautiful Sunday after practice with the lot of people. the supermario song was cute. their dachangjin was very nice. fell asleep at the last song though. dont like it. hah.

i guess certain people are just not suited to be in bb. afterall, i admit we ARENT improving much. every week, practice after practice, we're making the same mistakes. and there are so many weaker players to coach, to guide. so its natural that people of higher standards wouldnt want to stay with us. if you're climbing upwards fast, you'll just fly pass bb if theres nothing there to bind you down.

but bb isnt about being the best, it isnt about being the greatest orchestra technically, it isnt about performing magnificent, superb songs, and it isnt about showing to the public how good and fast-improving an orchestra we are.

its about the fun of playing in an orchestra, its about helping each other, its about giving all you have even if its just a little bit, its about letting also the not so "great" players have a chance at being soloists, its about a bunch of kids who love playing in an orchestra so much that they need to just have one more session every week, and its about this bunch being bonded, and being together through it all.

so, even if we have moved only one tiny step for 5 whole years of effort, it doesnt matter, because we did it all together, in tears and in cheers. =)

P.S i had to bold this because i didnt know i feel this way for BB until i wrote all that down. how therapeutic.

2008-03-02T00:52:00.002+08:00

happy 21st to NGHSIENHAN.

its good. to turn 21, i guess. its a really happy thing. to be alive and kicking and in pink of health and officially let everyone know that you have just turned 21 years old.

that you have endured this shit, called LIFE, for 21 solid years. no mean feat hmmm.

sometimes i do things and feel strangely dettached. like i'm outside of myself, watching everything happen as an outsider.

my doors and windows wide open, faint light flowing into my room, my curtains flapping around in the wind, hearing distant sounds of the tv from the living room, and hearing my dad's occasional coughing. its come to a point where i am used to going to sleep like that. too used to.

DAD! where are you. come home now please, and switch on the tv. so that i can go to sleep in peace.

2008-02-29T22:06:00.001+08:00

i SCREWED my body clock.

no longer suicidal, but, still, depressed. T_T

really now, this is weird.

its time for CHANGE.

2008-02-27T21:24:00.005+08:00

my results are disgusting.

this is just wrong. i studied so frigging hard. its just not fair. how can it have fallen so much?

so this is how true failure tastes like.

nothing has ever stunned me this much. feels like... a big, tight slap across my face.

what is this. this sense of loss. this... forlorn lost. i feel like i was thrown into the tossing waves of the ocean, something's grabbing at my feet, pulling me under.

this is so melodramatic, vivian. its just GPA. its just... 3.5.

but to work this hard, and in the end to get nothing and less for it; it feels horrible.

"You reap what you sow."

what a LIE.

i slept the depression away. its feels sick. bloody hell sick. i looked at my grades this morning, immediately closed it and went back to bed, hiding under the covers, hiding from reality.

and everytime i open my eyes, everytime i come back out of my vague dreams, someone's voice is there, taunting me, repeating my bloody disgusting GPA into my ears. so i tell myself to go back into the comforts of my dreams. where nothing is real.

i finally got up at 5pm to get OUT. to walk aimlessly. to immerse myself into senseless magazines. drinking green tea. feeling, amazingly, empty.

so this is how much it could impact me. putting my whole soul into a single goal, but getting nothing and less back.

its not fair.

i think i'm going back to sleep.

2008-02-24T00:34:00.005+08:00

TIRED.

out of doing weird stuff.

ice skating was fun! and i didnt fall, since i didnt forget how to skate. =D poor carrie lishi and jocelyn fell so many times! OUCH!

i gave carrie my childhood gloves; ie the above COLOURFUL cute ones! HAHAHA! her hands are a perfect fit with them.

friday; had scholars workshop the entire day. some talk about current affairs. it was initially kinda interesting... but. once the indian speaker came... it became rather hard to concentrate. he speaks like a train! -_- learnt some new stuff anyway.

we were briefed regarding our overseas CIP trip as well. SIANNNN. more money to pay. 0.o

while me clinton and lishi were waiting for the rest to arrive for night walk recce, we stayed in the clubhouse to play spastic games. like errr JENGA.

which clinton LOST in. MWAHAH.

but after which he totally owned us at monopoly. i was really broke by the end of the game. T_T

while waiting at the bunk, we watched movies and played spastic games like heartattack. -_-!

started the nightwalk recce at 1am. SP is freaking scary in the night, thats all i can say. dunno how i'm gonna be calm and collected during the actual nightwalk. T_T especially when there are fake ghosts hanging around every corner! siannnn....

anyways. look at this picture and tell me, which square is darker? A or B?

the answer shall be revealed in the next post. =)

oh yes oh yes, youth olympic games in SINGAPORE! yay! although that probably means singapore is gonna become even squeezier. =(

2008-02-18T19:31:00.002+08:00

my legs are itching to ICESKATE.

and tomorrow is the day.

though i've probably forgotten how to skate, and so am gonna fall all over the ice with carrie jocelyn lishi felicia and some other org comm people.

by the way, i insist that JUMPER is a good movie, though so many people tell it in my face that the storyline sucked, the start was adrupt and the ending was sudden. but no, NO, NO! JUMPER is a good movie. *nods*

night walk during the camp is gonna be so freaking scary. entire org comm tried out the route today, and it was already pretty scary at certain parts... in broad daylight. imagine at night! *SHIVERS!*

cecilia and vivian were sent into the U-shape female toilet... both ended up screaming and running out, even though there was NOTHING in there. -_-

so i announce myself a BIT more courageous right now. first time i ever met someone thats more of a coward then myself. CECILIA! she screams and jumps at seriously every single thing. o.0

this friday, we're gonna try out the route at midnight. i want to go into the same group with aliyo. =(

2008-02-16T21:03:00.004+08:00

thats senglien inside the first formula 1 to ever arrive in singapore. yup. your eyes are not kidding you, SENG LIEN got to sit in the freaking F1! o.0 for more details of her triumphant moment, please visit emptymrt.blogspot.com. she has very proudly pen down every single second of her journey with THE F1.

VERYYYY nice.

worked today, for CHINGAY! with carrie ho, that cute girl. we slacked like shit. =X

i heart tcc. =D

oh hoh. wanting is back from CHINA! guess who she met there? JORDAN WEE. X)

=)

2008-02-14T03:16:00.004+08:00

i took a tooooo long break from banquet work.

my body is aching after 9 hours at suntec. bloody MEGA event. 367 tables. the room was god damn humongous.o_0

OT at suntec is soooo much more efficient, though.

i pulled a muscle in my left shoulder while we were doing the chair covers. T_T now i cant move much... so i pasted... SALON PAS! bwahahaha.

i seriously hate high heels... they should burn in hell for giving my so much pain. even the manager asked me if i was alright when he saw me limping about. LOL. damn you high heels. scew the rules. i shall wear any-oh-how black shoes to suntec next time.

BWAH. my hair hasnt dried. i have to wake up at 8am for work and its already... 3.20am!!! T_T

deric is... an ARGH captain. his face screws up in disgust everytime he's stressed. and he scolds EVERYONE with that face, without getting the situation clear first. anything that doesnt go his way is wrong. me and my partner didnt even bother explaining ourselves. he was so insistent he's right and we're wrong. T_T

but he's the one captain that gives the CLEAREST instructions. a natural leader... thats high in machiavellianism i guess. oh well. no one's perfect. i hope i never get him as captain again. =X too stressed.

oh oh! HAPPY VALENT-FRIEND'S DAY! =D WATCH THIS.

2008-02-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

No amount of fancy gimmicks or equipment or adoption of alleged time-saving ‘fads' will substitute for a long term program of hard work.
-Gym Jones

gym jones coordinated 300's training programme, or something like that. what they did is amazing... o_0 read about it here: http://www.gymjones.com/knowledge.php?id=35

sooo. spent sunday with swiss people. visited limpeiyi and guowei's house, then they came over to my house. did the usual stuff... mahjong, poker, movies. blah blah blah.

its been a nice chinese new year.

kelvinKOH nearly scared me to death just now.

"eh.. tomorrow got performance ah?"
"huh, dont have ah. i think its on feb 26..."
"sure?"
".... 2/12 looks kinda familiar though... SHIT!"

afterwhich i ran home and checked the schedule, and its on febuary 23rd! FISH. -_-

cant find sponsors for FOC. T_T

i seem to never be able to get enough sleep.

ahmeng DIED. nandaemun collapsed in a fire.

2008-02-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

alright alright.

ermmm. last three days have been mad visiting, basically. i'm forming pretty dark eye rings from lack of sleep. =(

shake hand, "happy new year!". shake hand, "happy new year!". shake hand, "happy new year!". shake hand, "happy new year!". shake hand, "happy new year!". shake hand, "happy new year!".

i'm very annoying.

chu2 was the worst. dad's friends are all gambling addicts. 9 solid hours of gambling, from 7pm to 4am. who came?
uncle cherboonchew(almighty canoe instructer) and his woman
uncle blackiekoh(former army instructor, dontplayplay) and family(mummy+jinyu+jiaqian)
uncle pokkok(the magician) and daughter sihui
dazhou(3.8 pointer o.0) dachen(army officer!) and their dad
uncle sehhh!!(fish. havent seen him for 3 years)

uncle ah SEHH proceeded to be banker for the gamblers for the 9 HOURS. the gamblers who finished 4 bottles of red wine... o.0 all of them crowded around the dining table. mum was chided and instructed to buy a new, longer, bigger dining table because it was too squeezy. -_-

i knocked out an hour before they left. seriously no seriously.

the other days were much better, normal visitings.

i need SLEEP.

2008-02-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

went back to swiss today with a bunch of 4e5 people plus zinc from 4e4.

NO MORE CHICKEN SPAGHETTI. it was errrrmm "qing tian pi li".

anyways, me, zinc and minjun were stuck outside the main gate for a solid hour before we were finally let in with the help of ~~shuyu~~miss wong and ~~peiyi~~miss lim. strict rules, despite the fact that peiyi and shuyu insisted the new principal is a compassionate guy. IRONIC.

we hung out in the staff room, and it was kinda unbelievable to see so many people from our batch back at swiss TEACHING. as relief teachers, but still... feels rather surreal. jodee, melody, shuyu, shuli, peiyi, luqman, and samo. did i miss anyone out? they all have their very own cubicle in the staff room, with their very own moe laptop, their very own chair.

students were at the door looking for them, giving them oranges. o_0

definitely surreal.

mr indra, that clown who went to malacca with us, was there playing happily with limpeiyi. throwing tissues at her in the staff room!

veeeeeeeerrrryyyy weird.

mr lim you tian is as usual. he misses us so much. =X okay he didnt say that. but our class photos are still the most prominent ones on his desk(which doesnt even have a proper pen and notepad!). we didnt catch mr ngoh, he left before we could find him. daaarrrrrnnn.

mr kamal.... doesnt remember my name. he does, however, remember that i like orange. ("hmmm vannessa? no? err... victoria? not it either? hmm. i only remember you as orange...") -_-

so much for being head prefect. they exploited me! taiming and my pictures are still in the year planners. the "proper" attire and hair shit. i still remember where and how we took the pictures. FUNNY MOMENTS.

sooo. it was nice visiting swiss. misslimlayharrr ahhhh, we want our CCA passes please! so that we dont have to wait soooo long just to enter the school gate everytime we go back. bahhh. it feels so unwelcoming. =(

mr lim you tian treated us to lunch at the new S11 food court. then we split to 2 cars. woohoo. did i say, koonming and harold can DRIVE? o_0 now that feels surreal too. harold drove the woodlands people home while mr lim gave me, peiyi and jason a ride.

reunion dinner was nice. ate like a pig.

febuary 4th 2008 was the day that marked Grace's 1st year death anniversary. we got to look at the orbituary we posted up for Grace today. twas a nice photo. =)

2008-02-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

right now, its officially chinese new year EVE. yipee.

my bank account right now, is very very near the limit. :( i am truly sad.

i havent had time to stay at HOME to slack. i am going to pick a day soon; to sleeep, wake up and watch a few episodes of dgrayman, take a nap, wake up and watch a few episodes of bleach, go back to nap again, then wake up to watch a few episodes of naruto, then sleep again.

*nods*

BUT. that is IF i can find the time. and i realise i have much to accomplish this holidays... did i say this before?

find sponsorship for SB FOP(ohgod jocelyn found one, alicia found like 4, and VIVIAN:ZERO!)
design teeshirt for SB FOC
finalise BBCO concert theme design
finalise bbco logo with tengyeow + design shirt
NAC arts grant!!! *depressed*
confirm invitation of hongkong performers
scholars workshop T_T

hms. i'm sure thats not everything. i'm having a mental block.

SAA sent me an email to collect my BURSARY CHEQUE from the finance department. o_0 since when did i apply for a bursary? but nevermind, its MONEY.

i have no time for a temp full time job. :(

and soooo. i guess i'm gonna teach tuition.

wanting is leaving for CHINA in a few hours time.

watched THE MIST with hanwee and chuping today... its a highly political movie with a horribly sad ending. blahh. cant believe they actually shoot christianity until like that. HAHA!

going back to swiss ~~tomorrow~~ today.

my body clock is warped. i cant sleep before 12, and i cant wake up before 10am!!! o_0

vivian needs money and time out. desperately.

2008-01-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

okay.

this is it.

ready, set, GO!

hmmm. i realised i have quite a lot to accomplish this holidays. ARGHHHHH.

first on the list, would be MONEY. since i am highly likely out of the scholarship programme. -_-

2008-01-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

global tourism paper today was... a GONER. the MCQs sucked. the map work was hard. and i misread the essay question.

ASIA PACIFIC. asia pacific. what in the name of god were you thinking of, vivian ang? why the HELL did you leave out ASIA PACIFIC?! its freaking 18marks.

okay. forget it.

then because of exams, of course, i wasnt exactly in touch with civilisation recently. dont exactly know what's been going on in the world. SOOOO. ahem. i did NOT know the IR in sentosa is going to have a UNIVERSAL STUDIO. which was one of the MCQ questions.

what the hell. GENTING got the bid for building the IR in sentosa, didnt they? obviously the most logical answer would be "Genting World Theme Park" right?! why must they go and build a stupid UNIVERSAL STUDIO there?!

grrrrrrrrr.

hahs. thats enough. i should bang a wall and die. its my fault i havent been keeping up with the news. and its my fault i didnt attend so many lectures. and its of course my fault for not studying hard enough. -_-

i totally underestimated GGT this time.

well, at least its the last time i'll have to memorise the world map. the process has been kinda fun, actually. think i'm gonna buy a globe and place it in my room. or maybe a huge world map and put it up on my wall. baaaaah.

accounting on thursday = LAST PAPER!!! =D

anyway, when i was on the bus just now, i saw something really interesting. i sat down and immediately heard a woman scolding a string of profanities about some quarrel with some other people at the pasar malam.

LOUDLY. in the quiet bus. she went !@#$$%)$!&* about someone, and she was sitting with a girl about my age probably not older than 22yrs old, a primary school boy, and a young 4 yrs old girl. she herself looked no more than 45 yrs old.

so, okaaaayyyyy, i thought, wow what a nice mother, scolding profanities and everything in front of her 3 young children. and then later the son joined in. he went !@#$%^&!^ about that someone too. PRIMARY SCHOOL KID! o_0

then he suddenly turned to her elder sister and said(in chinese), "eh, she's YOUR %^@&#* daughter leh, wah lao." *points at the 3 yr old girl*

i totally went o_0.

then the mother turned to the little girl and said(in chinese), "you see, ah ma help you scold people because they !@#^$& say you no !&@*# family teaching leh! hah, they !!@&# think we easy to bully ah!"

that woman cant be older than 45! and that younger woman cant be older than... 22 MAX. they must be a bunch of vampires who dont age or something.

seriously, i wanted to slap the young boy. he couldnt stop saying "ta ma de" and "wang ba dan".

what has this world come to?

i have a freaking nasty headache right now. =(

and i think i have LOUSY delegation skills. every task i delegate out, gets screwed up. i should take OM module once more seriously.

maybe i should be more stern.

2008-01-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

that wu zhong xian show on channel U every saturday night is sooooooo nice. FUNNY. couldnt concentrate on accounts while i sat beside the tv. whoooops.

i am seriously, freaking paranoid.

and i think i'm getting worse at this responsibility thing. i should just quit. its making me hate myself. -_- beating down my self esteem. go to hell lah!

being stuck, doing something, year after year; that oughta get me mad some day. it isnt surprising right? but in the end, its all the rest of the people who matter. their opinions count the most. isnt that ironic, considering how personal such a skill is? no one cares about that though. when people around you say, "you can do it, you're good at this", thats the final verdict. so shut up, and go to work.

life, life, life. *sigh*

i need to let go of worldly affairs, and quit driving for perfection. let mistakes happen. let people do the wrong things. let nature take its course. stop trying to correct things vivian! stop being initiative. lets wait and see how long the passive people can remain passive.

take the back seat; maybe the view might be better afterall.

someday, maybe i will become the first female president of singapore. hmmm. but maybe elycia will get there before me, since she's walking more towards that goal than i am. struggling over the idiotic kind of stress isnt exactly president material.

oh well. maybe i should drop my goals to becoming an anonymous, middle income, average joe's wife, bear him kids, stay at home and clean the house, lead the rest of my life as a housewife and then just die.

hah. how un-exciting.

global tourism on tuesday = memorising the entire world map again. DU DIAO.

2008-01-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

Home, sung by westlife, is a beautiful, powerful song. damned nice. =)

i been listening to it on repeat for nearly 70 times i think. =\

statistics paper today was pretty much a breeze. i think we over practiced it.

johnteo is sick. get well soon buddy!

i absolutely did NOT study a single bit today. we met up; me jeff rui and john, ate, and ended up slacking all the way. sitting and talking and walking and crapping. jeff is really a born joker. highly entertaining.

ngruiguang can do 10+ pull ups! while carrying his 2kg-filled crumpler. fwah, what a macho little kid. o_0

i think i'm getting abs from laughing too much while i hang out with them. the official mug club; meets up only during exam periods, exploits vivian's hardwork by asking her to teach till her saliva dries up, and also exploits most of john's handwritten valuable notes. basically, jeff provides neccessary laughter to boost morale, and well, rui provides gay-li-ness. weiyu.... provides us with his vitamin pills' disgusting smell. -_-

we saw track and field training at the track today. look at them sprint.... o_0 FAST!

i wanna do something crazy to my hair. dye it red? put extensions? highlight blue? hmmm. time for extensive research.

tata.

2008-01-22T23:17:00.001+08:00

arrrrrgggghhhh.

things always happen at the wrong time.

my stomach feels queasy. extremely queasy.

this is annoying. you dont just drop such a bomb on people and expect nothing else to be asked. -_- worrying really sucks.

i didnt study much today. horrible day. i've decided to give up on FoM. just get a D or something. BLAHHHHHHH!

theres nothing in front for you vivian. go back to where you last were. before its too late.

who am i kidding?! its already too late. it was too late, a long time ago.

2008-01-21T23:09:00.000+08:00

BLAHHH organisational management paper was BUANG. as john likes to put it. no time! so 2 hours actually pass this fast.

i am dying to watch bleach, naruto, coffee prince, and heroes. and finish reading DGRAYMAN! and and. zinc is working as an agent now, so i dont have to worry about not finding any jobs.

FREAKING NERVOUS FOR FUNDAMENTALS OF MARKETING PAPER ON WEDNESDAY.

=(

okay, relax vivian. just remember to breathe.

my gpa has just dropped from 3.75 to... 3.72. i can feel it dropping. o_0

2008-01-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

when i think of the exam paper tomorrow, i feel butterflies in my tummy and i want to puke all my dinner out.

this is HORRIBLE.

woohoo. a week of mountain studying has done something weird to my brain. its thinking up all sorts of nonsense.

i feel so god damn paranoid over the exams this time. seems like no matter how much i study, it feels as if i havent studied anything.

and i HAVE been studying a lot, which is saying something. everyday for the past week its been; wake up, go library study. skip breakfast, study. have lunch, study. skip dinner, study. go home study, sleep. wake up study study study. and did i mention i studied?

i couldnt even get myself to eat properly, because everytime i put down my notes, i feel like i'm wasting TIME. so i uhh, just, squeeze in some food in between studying. seriously, food has never turned me off so badly before. i look at noodles and think of stats, look at rice and think of FOM, look at vegetables and think of OM. yada yada.

but right now, ONE night before the first paper, i feel like i havent studied ANYTHING useful at all.

T_T

i just bawled. a great big bawl.

really, really worried sick. =\

saturday was a rest day. twas nainai's 70th birthday. so the entire family went to eat at Family International Seafood, a buffet restaurant at takashimaya. the food wasnt so bad, but far from pariss. AND AND! the WHOLE family turned up this time. and i mean, the whole family. everyone! so we took a rare family portrait at the restaurant.

hmm. we talked about grace's death anniversary. the adults are going to post up a remembrance on the straits times. i dont think i want that day to ever come. 1 year, and the pain still feels like yesterday. sometimes i shut my eyes, i still imagine grace taking her last breathe in pain in the ambulance. leaving in shock, leaving in pain, leaving even after all the suffering from treatment. its all so wrong.

its a constant reminder that LIFE, this four letter word, is not meant to be FAIR. its a bloody fucking tease. some stupid game to whoever's up there playing it, playing us. anyone can die, so easily. so they think; why not pluck the good ones out? if the bad people all die, there wont be no fun anymore!

so then they let an innocent, health conscious, kind hearted human die just like that.

its so much easier being angry. =)

i sat in valerie's car for the first time on sat. she drove me home, and it feels damn weird. in the car there was only me, cindy and her. she's like almost as tall as the steeering wheel only! looked like a little girl driving lah. but she got me safely home anyway. and she knows the roads pretty well!

i still cant believe she's driving already. o_0

now its time to sleep, wake up and face the nightmare tomorrow. =(

2008-01-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

wanting is losing weight like she's leaking or something!!! o_O

okayyyyy.

anyway i discovered running at night is super therapeutic. like i'm shedding all the thoughts clogged up in my brain away.

SPCO concert is OVER. falalala. and we had BBCO annual general meeting. and just now we had SPCO general meeting too. meetings meetings and more meetings. which translates to work, work and more work.

OF COURSE, i threw the minutes to kel to settle. =X

please let spco hongkong trip be subsidised to.. errm, bout $200. =\

DREAM ON.

mervyn! president of spco. yayness. scholars rock. :)

there's virus in my laptop. T_T some weird bug that keeps changing my home page into a weird chinese website with so many chinese words. bloooooody hell.

i discovered beautiful things in mervyn's laptop. which i am gonna bring to MINE. fwahaha.

spybot is magnificent. its saving my laptop right now.

i havent even started on studying yet. okay i did study for GEMS last night. very last test today! YAY! no more DNA. next sem we're gonna pick funner stuff to do.

next week... CRS argumentative writing test. SHIT.

argumentative writing shouldnt even exist. i mean, why must humans argue anyway? arent we supposed to live in peace?

blah. back to the cruel world.

2008-01-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

"what is vivian?"

errr. is it weird that i am NOT bothered by this question?

i think i'm starting to have generation gap with the girls. =X why is everyone in a hurry to grow up?

okay. i can confidently say now, that i am SICK of chinese orchestra-ing. day and night, day and night, orchestra practice after practice.

guess this proves that i'm not cut out to be a musician. not that i didnt already realise that. =\

went over to SAA today with wenna and mervyn. met and talked with ms kim... who very forwardly warned us NOT to take our results lightly.

we're in DEEP shit.

2 weeks left till major exams. how on earth am i going to improve my GPA?

busy busy busy... let's get busy.

i feel like a bee.

this feeling that i have is... insane. ridiculous. totally out of range. its like my body's desperate attempt to shake off the past by clinging onto something new. its totally stupid, and i'm already tired of controlling it. its spinnning out of control.

SNAP OUT OF IT VIVIAN!

TOMORROW! is spco concert. at singapore conference hall. which is gonna be crazy rushing throughout. i'm prepared. we're all prepared. to fight with hunger, frustration, temper, and high heels.

god bless us.

2008-01-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

happy 2008!

i'm feeling horrible.

last few days have been crazy, wild, tiring.

one more SP concert to go through... o_O

i ran. and it had a strangely therapeutic effect. this is good. i'm gonna do it everyday. if i have the time that is.

i want to put up pictures of all the mad stuff i went through. later.

now, sleep. tomorrow, school.

2007-12-29T00:45:00.000+08:00

... i am unbelievably stressed up.

woohoo.

am contemplating pushing away all countdown parties, and locking myself up in my room to STUDY through the entire 31st December 2007.

CUZ; i havent even touched a single bit of homework since holidays.

this is a mad rush. tomorrow is the final practice for BB's sunday performance... so VIVIAN, this weekend, be prepared to DIE out of rushing and stressing.

2 hours of door to door only resulted in 7 tickets sold! madness. poor wanting even got her knees bruised cus of it. bloody unfriendly neighbours. *sigh*

AFTER bb concert this sunday, is the mad rush, and i mean MAD MAD MAD rush to SP's concert next friday. at singapore conference hall! bloody hell.

i'm learning to swear in spanish.

i dont even have time to breathe these days. the paperwork never seems to end. hmm.

CONCERTS; its like giving birth to a baby. we work till death everytime for a concert. for months and months. of stress, sweat, pure hardwork and practice. during which, we all complain and tell each other this is the last one i'm ever going to do, you know.

but on the night it is finished, the minute it is over and we see and hear the final ring of applause; all the hard work and sweat and stress just slips away and we think unanimously: Everything's worth this. just like when a mother sees her newborn baby, she forgets all her pain for the past 9 months.

so then. we start on the next one; and the cycle repeats itself.

i'm thinking this is all quite sad actually. that i've put myself into a never ending circle.

good night world. see you when all this fiasco has ended.

2007-12-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

christmas party is over.

christmas this year... is not christmas.

not without the usual family party at valerie's. everyone's gone overseas. i'm going to instill a family rule next year, no one is allowed to leave singapore during festive seasons.

its not christmas when i dont see the huge christmas tree flooded with presents underneathe, us opening the gifts together happily.

its not christmas without my uncle roasting our very own turkey and slicing it to perfection, with a whole table of other food prepared by grandma.

its not christmas at all this time.

its not fair, leaving the rest back to celebrate alone. BLAH.

its our first christmas without Grace, and it feels horrible.

it has been an emotional week, for myself and for some other friends i guess. hah!

depressing, very very depressing. yesterday, on the 25th dec, was the day i felt true disappointment in humankind. for loads of reasons, really.

god should give me a reason to smile soon.

as 2007 draws to a close, we're nearing the day when Grace left us forever. and i wonder how we'll all react when the day finally arrives. everything will rush back in, and you cant run away from thinking about it anymore. the memory will be fresh, raw, painful.

that gaping hole among us that can never be filled again; thats gonna show up like orange against black, pricking all our hearts to hell.

every year today, by this time, i would be uploading pictures of all my presents, giving christmas thanks, saying how much i enjoy christmas every year.

today, its so different.

everything's different now. we're broken, in a sort of way, i guess. like a puzzle that has a missing piece. or a book with a page torn away. we're all so lost without her. i still cant believe she's gone. it doesnt matter how much time has passed.

oh, this truly sucks. when i think of her, i feel like everything else i'm doing is childish, meaningless, senseless, worthless.

BLAH!

2007-12-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

ho ho ho.

had fun yesterday. it was peiyi's birthday. had a mini swiss gathering at plaza sing's swensons to celebrate it, and christmas of course.

before that me and kelvin went all the way to tanjong pagar to have lunch with wanting and ruiguang. i have no idea why. -_- AND WANTING PS ME for her company lunch in the end. blah!

then me wanting tengyeow kelvin and ruiguang went cityhall for christmas shopping. where we helped ng ruiguang select all his christmas gifts for his family. TROUBLESOME GUY!

AFTERWHICH, i went to plaza sing to join the rest. and i was mighty surprised to see.... KOH PECK YAN!!! omg. my bestest best friend from zhenghua primary. bless limpeiyi for arranging this. =D

and then i had another shock when i saw the whole table of 4e5 GUYS! all 20+ of them came! with a few botak heads hidden under caps. i was very touched at how bonded they are actually... the girls are... hm. yi pan shan sha. a plate of loose sand. lol.

so anyway, the botak heads all look damn funny! justin woo suddenly became so DARK! hernyi was so tall, i never remembered him being so damn tall. shenghan got even skinnier than before. juntang, okay, he was the same as ever, even his hair wasnt really botak cus he booked out since hari raya.

the guys were just suddenly very different looking lah. haha!

then i had ANOTHER shock, sarah came. SARAH ZHUO! our long lost m&m! omg. she looks as sweet as ever lah. i just couldnt believe my eyes when i saw her there. BLESS AH LIEN. you are amazing. =)

i sat opposite MELODY! so damn long since i talked to her. so we got to catch up a bit. still with marcus the boyfriend, marcus the brother still growing up, mother still as cute as ever! lol. her mum baked cup cakes for us. =)

it was an amazing night, i can say. HAHA.

then the guys came to my house, with peiyi minjun and elycia. we watched SAW II, that disturbing sadistic sick movie. urghh.

late night most of them left. chokkee kevin xiaoqiang minjun and elycia stayed back to thon. we played poker, with the chips and showhand and all that crap together, and it was damn fun, for most of the night before knocking out early morning in the living room. hell. sleeping on the sofa in between chokkee and xiaoqiang wasnt very comfortable lah.

xiaoqiang can really sleep anywhere. he just stayed at his corner and SLEPT. waking up with a sore back of course. HAHA! and neominjun actually LIKES to sleep on the floor. and and, elycia sleeps with her eyes open. okay, that really creeped me out. =\

going out going out.

still damned depressed that there;s no family celebration this year. everyone went overseas. blah.

woke up in

2007-12-19T20:09:00.000+08:00

i'm back from MALAYSIA.

and i love singapore. =)

2007-12-15T00:41:00.000+08:00

hello.

CHRISTMAS BREAK IS HERE! although its only 2.5 weeks. but still, its a well deserved break.

all projects are completed save for ONE: IDEAS. sucky crappy module.

so we all get to have a break. yayness.

OM presentation was damn funny! we ended up really messed up since we rehearsed like ONCE, and it was slackish too. but so did the other groups, so i guess we did relatively alright! haha.

all these props were done by CHEW YU XUAN! our heroe. *sniff* she's so hardworking lah!

after which i think we were all to stressed, so we got quite scary looking in the lecture hall. -_- actually they were all props for the morning presentation.

met up with sheila today to talk. =) miss that girl so much.

today was the 2nd T3 trial run. HAH. the entire dtrm 04 went. good excuse to let mr gray rest and go home early for a day! so we had a class outing there. lol. spastic photos are with jordan wee right now.

the urinals in T3 male toilets all have a fake fly pasted in the middle, for guys to "aim". LOL. jordan wee also took that photo. its damn funny.

ways, T3 trial run was nothing much, just walking into the not-opened-transit-areas for tours, taking the sky trains back and forth, acting as passengers, etc etc.

BUT! t3 is BEAUTIFUL. its gigantic, spacious, and you never have to fear feeling claustrophobic even if the entire singapore population is in there or something. the whole of departure, in the day, has no lights on. they use natural sunlight to light up the entire t3 in the day! fascinating.

was good we went for the trial. t3 only serves singapore airlines, and on top of that, only certain country destinations. so some of us probably wont get the chance to step into t3 transit at all anytime soon.

we got free shirt, free dinner, free eye-opening tour, free cca points. ahhh. justina must have loved it! HAHA! =D

once t3 opens full scale, changi airport is sure gonna knock whoever's first in the rankings and stay in its position for years to come.

after t3 trial, rushed down to meet wanting jianhui and gang to watch movie: Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium! damn nice show. it was childish in an abstract kind of way, if you get what i mean? ahhh.

theres been too many fantasy-ish shows going around lately.

2007-12-12T20:59:00.000+08:00

what is this feeling, i think its drained out or something. this term is bloody hell too long can. i'm too tired already. no more drive left to complete anything.

skipping lessons, not doing tutorials, writing slacky reports, reading storybooks/sleeping during lecture, yada yada blah blah blah.

thank god its week 12 already. last week of the term!!!

AJC PROM was a blast, i think. i did crazy stuff i will never ever do again. lets see.

on tuesday, after attending IDEA, i went to wanting's house right away. too see ah neh there, displaying his prom clothes to us. so ah neh, was being as usual, his annoying self. we fooled around abit, changed, then left to go to the salon, and ahneh went home to prepare.

my shoe broke apart. okay, so i threw them away and got a brand new shoe last minute. i love it!　it looks like the sort that young little girls wear. haha. so nostalgic. so comfortable.

so because of my useless shoes, me and wanting had to cab down to the salon at yio chu kang.

we did our hair! me, jianhui, angela CURLED our hair. daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn nice. =) wanting's short porcupine hair was damn bombastic.

the pretty hair comes with a price. it was hard as rock with all the hairspray lah. and its being secured by dozens of hair pins, ruthlessly pushed into our hair. =\ PAIN!

after we did our hair, jianhui's mum(bless her) drove us to marina square where we did our make up at SASA. WOAH. such an experience. at first when we arrived at SASA, the artist was working on someone else, and the make up on her SUCKS. okay.

jian hui went first, and halfway through we were half convinced that she's not all that bad at all. after jian hui was done and she did wanting's... okay, we totally trust her already. her style is loud, young, and eye catching. she made all of our eyes SPARKLE like hell. very appropriate dinner party make up.

whats most amazing is, she seems to know what we are, and painted our faces showing what we are. jianhui's make up was gentle, lady like, earthly hues with a hint of craze. angela's make up was oriental, delicate with a dab of sexiness. wanting's was LOUD, bright, fierce and flowy. mine was, well i dont even know what mine was actually. the dark purple on my skin just went really well together!

at first i thought she was just combining the right colours to go with our dresses, but then i realised, what she's doing is really tying up the whole package for us. HUA LONG DIAN JING!

I ACTUALLY PUT ON FAKE LASHES. o_0 and she nearly convinced me to trim my eyebrows. HAHAHA, too bad. i'm too hard to sway.

my eyes are a bitch. all the time she worked on my eye, i couldnt stop blinking. i cant even put on fake lashes without a proper fuss. the first time she stuck it on, i TEARED. against my own will okay. so the lash went poof and dropped off. but it stuck on the 2nd try, after i made sure my eyes were really dry first before sticking.

overall, i look like a DOLL.

i was blind half of the night cus i took off my glasses. thats a first too, giving up my glasses for beauty! but they made sure i will never do it again. scared the hell out of me when i lost them for a moment. =\

anyways, after the make up we were already LATE! so jianhui's mum(bless her again) drove us to grand copthorne. where we joined the rest and started going snap snap snap.

KENNETH YEN is prom king！ yipee yipee yay yay! makes me miss pae 30/06 so much. hah! still remember the day when him and i realised we were both head prefects in secondary school. laughed like hell. i think he deserves prom king, even though amos is better looking. cuz kenneth is the nicest funniest guy in AJ i knew. lol.

liang pei is prom queen! though i hoped jieling won it instead. poo.

anyway, grand copthorne ballroom lived up to my expectation. i was so shocked when wanting said, "eh the grand doors to this ballroom is my uncle build de."

LOL!

that is so cool.

after dinner and opening of dance floor, our table left and started WALKING to post prom venue. someone in the hotel stupidly told us riverwalk is a 5 to 10 mins walk. whoever takes 10 mins to walk that far a distance must have yaoming's height. -_-
ANYWAY, we forgive whoever-that-dumbass-is, because the walk was cooling and we got to talk. even though we got lost a bit and had to ask for directtions like, 4 times. LOL.

so, post prom was at HOME club, riverwalk. its quite an obscured and new club, right at the end of riverwalk. very nice, cosy, and hip! we had free entry the entire night, so the club was booked by us. so there we did the usual stuff; drank, danced and went wild.

and as i look at the whole club of ajc people going crazy and wild like as if its their everyday life, i thought, how can anyone say ajc is a mugger school who doesnt play enough? -_-

left at over 1am to cab home with angela thanesh and wanting. thon at wantings house, where i had a hell of a time taking out all the ruthlessly inserted bobby pins and washing out the stubborn curls. =\

look at the fake lashes! very very nice. =)

2007-12-11T00:19:00.000+08:00

TIME. is running me by. =(

snap. snap. one week is gone just like that.

well well. the blood thirsty projects are almost over.

ALL THATS LEFT IS OM & IDEAS. its a cause for celebration, really.

well look at jordan and justina. how happy they are. silly people. of course, i insisted they posed long enough for me to snap a photo.

TOMORROW! is ajc prom. at grand copthorne. post prom, at HOME club. i cannot wait to see grand copthorne ballroom, so it had better not dissapoint me. its my tourism-ish part of me, itching to come out. HAHA!

after this week of craze, its malacca trip -> spco camp -> christmas & newyr season parties -> bbco CONCERT! -> 3 weeks of school -> SEMESTER EXAMS!

0_o

good night.

2007-12-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

blah.

i'm royally screwed.

2007-12-02T21:19:00.001+08:00

i'm feeling very depressed.

firstly, wanting left for kukob this afternoon. now she's most prolly enjoying the fresh seafood and cooling breeze. BAHHH.

then, i finished twilight, so i'm out of books already. AH ha. so i actually spent nearly 2 hours in the library today, scoring through book after book, ending up coming home with 6 books. 2 FREAKING HOURS. gone just like that.

i'm trying to move into fantasy, BUT, i cant find any decent ones just now. even after 2 hours. bahhhhh. that is very depressing ok.

then, i tried determinedly finding my secondary school english file among all the junk in my house, hoping it would miraculously appear again. TO NO AVAIL. =( i know, i know. my mum has told me repeatedly, "you threw them away eaons ago, they're not gonna pop out of nowhere even if you insist you dont remember throwing."

but but but. how could i have thrown all my precious compos AWAY??? T_T

bugger. i'm really damned disturbed that my english file is really gone. forever. it has probably been recycled twice by now. all my compos.... done in the era where people dont type with computers so there isnt a soft copy anywhere. where students diligently write compos out on fullscap papers. ALL GONE! =(

and of course, theres the loooming projects. reports to write. presentations to plan. we have... 3 more reports and 3 more presentations to complete before this scary term is finally over. GGT, OM, FoM.

and then, theres the malacca trip. mr lee saw the trip cost wrongly, so what was originally $130, now became $210. WOW. so. that equates to, vivian has double the work to do now. re-asking, re-confirming, re-coordinating.

and then theres also the dec 30th concert, ticket sales is still very low. we will have to go door-to-door soon.

mr lee dropped a big bomb today. he has booked sept 7th 2008 singapore conference hall, and invited the flute society to stage a combined concert.

you know what that means? 800 tickets, $10 each.

0_o

i think i need to start publicity NOW.

sooooo vivian, right now you stop procastinating, and start working your fat ass.

EDIT: i finished GGT report. =)

forgot to mention what; wanting and jessica crashed on friday, the day after wanting sleptover at my house. the friday which was a damn havoc day. EIGHTEEN was damn high that day. huijuan's friend, jingxian, also crashed.

chuping's friends came to SP to bash some guai lan guy up.

food implosion finals on that day.

mrs chopra's accounts lecture was therefore very very noisy!

went to SPGG to play arcade and pool during our 2 hr break.

john ahbeng brough his deck of cards to haolian his magic tricks.

and GGT tutorial, of course, was damn slack lah. asked mr gray if they could sit in, and he's like, "of course can lah!". he even told them to COME AGAIN.

really, an average poly school day life is not THAT fun.

2007-11-30T23:20:00.000+08:00

theres no moon tonight.

a lot of wind. its creating havoc in my room. i had to close my window a lot of times. -_-

EH-HEY! so yesterday after lessons i came home to change and then went to downtown east costa sands to crash 4e6 chalet. the extra juntang and yixiang were there too! haha. stayed for a while, then left with sheila wanting and jingyi.

the swiss spirit never falters. =)

me and wanting walked sheila home along the creepy long path. poor shaheila has to walk along it back home everyday... no wonder her parents dont let her home too late!

THEN. we took 187 back to woodlands. oh wow. amazingly loooooooonnnggg ride. which brought back a lot of memories to me. =)

wanting stayed OVER. we played need for speed and kungfu chaos on my brother's XBOX in his room till we fell asleep.

and after so many years, she tells me for the 1st time, "eh kunkun very cute leh!".

i'm so tired out thinking about the projects.

good night world.

2007-11-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

my life feels a bit surreal now, and i cant figure out WHY.

our JUANie has marshmallow arms, i forgot to say. *squish squash squash*

very nice to nie! =D

the five dragon boaters who died... ahh damn. its sad. why did they take off their life vests? young, innocent, strong people. passed away just like that. sudden, with no warning. life is just damn shitty.

CRS presentation today was.... impromptu, as usual. and damn boring, as usual. can see juan's beloved jansen lim looking very bored and falling asleep by the 2nd group. HAHA.

high marks high marks please!!!

76 for FoM CA1. 81 for IDEAS CA1. the 2 projects that were not very hard actually... and still our FoM we got a big fat B. =(

all the five projects going on together is making mind damn messed up. SHIT! i cant remember which is which, when is the presentation for this, when is the report hand up for that. blah blah blah.

CRS, GGT, FoM, OM, IDEAS. all these modules can go to hell next semester. =(

theres a very annoying language bar function in my laptop. I CANT GET RID OF IT!

*rawrs*

i think wanting was correct. 一言惊醒梦中人！

2007-11-26T21:49:00.000+08:00

i cut my hair.

baby huijuan is so much prettier. =_=

THE MOON IS ROUND! tonight.

very round. very bright. almost as if its lunar august 15th.

but now, outside my window, its being shrouded by clouds.

behind it, the moon is ROUND.

i cant believe how round it looks.

some pictures from 17/06 outing.

the hot babes of 17/06.

of course its us again, at Highlander.

the poor pub recieved a noisy attack that night by a bunch of rowdy kids.

today we did GGT project, tomorrow we present CRS & do GGT project, wednesday we do OM project, saturday we do FoM project.

at least after this week, CRS is DOWN.

falalala.

2007-11-24T00:14:00.000+08:00

so lets see. PMS is annoying, because i spill my temper at every little thing. it is especially annoying when i missed it 2 months, and the whole hord of hormones come on a full range attack.

both stats and pacc tutorials were cancelled this week. even pacc lectures were cancelled. -_-

projects are still pressing like shit.

yesterday was 17/06 class outing, marking the day of the last A lvl paper. WOOHOO. we went to pizza hut for lunch, watched Enchanted at the cathay, ate dinner at fisherman's wharf at clark quay, and then drank in Highlander(a pub opposite MoS).

my newfound love: bailey's irish cream, on the rocks. *sighs happily*

anyways, Enchanted was a real fairytale. i think it was damn funny lah, cuz when the male and female lead talks, beating down all the lovey dovey perfect world thinking, its like me talking to justina! HAHA!

plot wise, i think it was alright only lah. the front and the middle was alright, cuz it was damn funny(and kinda satisfying) to see the fairy tale characters bring in their fairytale-ish behaviour into the real world, and failing terribly!

at the back, everything started getting ridiculous. too damned far fetched already lah! the last straw was the DRAGON. oh my god. just plain ridiculous! lol. and the way the dragon went down was... O_o didnt sit well with me. =\

if the dragon didnt come out, i would have liked it a lot more. haha. but overall it was quite nice. not something i would want to watch again, though. lol.

fisherman's wharf was great! thanks to jianhui's intro. heh. the atmosphere was cosy, and the fish was nice, cheap and fresh. yay.

taken from jianhui's blog:

clique big. =) jianhui's not in the photo cuz she's behind the camera!

Highlander was a cool place to hang out and drink. we played truth or dare with empty heineken bottles. we listened to nice music. we talked. we played. we drank. nuff said?

the live gig that night was quite cool! 2 guitarists. haha, we dared jac to make a dedication on the stage to waitsun, saying its his birthday today. not true lah, but its on dec 6th, which is close enough. so the musicians took up the dedication and everyone in the pub applauded for waitsun! -_- they sang you're beautiful by james blunt for him. nice choice, felt really close to the heart for us, i think. =)

so, obviously, we went home pretty late.

so, obviously, this morning i couldnt get up.

so, obviousy, i skipped FoM. =\

and i ended up in school halfway through the 4 hours break(since pacc was cancelled), SLACKING with the rest of eighteen. in the jamming studio where johntan tried to deafen us with his super loud(okay FINE, and impressive) drumming, and justina and chuping tried to make us vomit our lunch with their tone death singing. O_o

have been visiting the arcade with wanting a few times this week too. HAHA. deprived childhood. we made a fool of ourselves with the DDR machine. but it was mighty fun. and money consuming. =X

took lots of photos yesterday with clique big, but i dont know where they are right now. so many cameras flashing. =D

2007-11-22T01:17:00.000+08:00

i want a long, full, slumbering day of SLEEP.

nothing else.

of course, i wont mind if you add on a rainfall of money for me, God. not at all. *smiles sweetly*

tomorrow's the very last A level paper for 17/06 at AJC. i kinda feel as relieved as they do. as if a huge rock is being lifted from my shoulders and i can breathe again.

but i'm not even taking the exams. -_-

uh huh. then i think of how the next few weeks will be like for me, while they PLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY their hearts out... *bawls*

but its only fair, of course. they worked so hard to come so far.

so should i.

2007-11-20T23:57:00.001+08:00

no, nothing's wrong with me.

its just PMS. -__-

the cramps are killing me.

2007-11-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling too pissed for such a nice, windy, rainy night.

YEO YAO SHENG, that bastard of a guy, owes me $120. which was supposed to have been transfered to my account LAST SUNDAY morning. i have come to realise SORRY DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING, sucker. i have this crazy premonition that he's going to run away to thailand with my money or something.

which is just madness and paranoia.

but i'm fuming with anger right now, so i'm entitled to scold him any-oh-how i like.

*ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRSSSS*

okay. i'm still not coool.

joy doesnt answer my phone call, she's currently MIA. AGAIN. and this time together with a chunk of our GGT project!!! which she was supposed to send to me NOW. dammit.

yuxuan and meiyin both are incontactable. i need to dispatch OM project work to them. like, RIGHT NOWWWWWWW.

SO. right now. NOTHING IS DONE VIVIAN. none of the projects. nadah. zero. zilch. kosong. LING DAN.

just go to hell vivian. you deserve to die.

thats the voice. no, VOICES. they're screaming in my head, making a huge din. i can hear them shouting and shouting at me, to get things done, to start working, to do SOMETHING.

i really can. it was worse just now. SCREAMING AND SHOUTING AT ME!!! in my head. MAKING A DIN. i'm not kidding man. must be something wrong with my head. must be something wrong with ME.

what you should do now, vivian, is fuck care. put them ALL, out of your mind.

you're losing it, vivian. one small slip, and you'll be gone.

2007-11-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

mum got sick. low blood pressure, or whatever the doctors like to call it anyway.

*sigh* things always happen at the wrong time. -__-

2 more weeks to week 11. hell week 11.

my hair is turning white.

vivian, if you cant even handle 4 projects concurrently tgt with some family issues, then what good are you huh?

get a freaking grip man.

sometimes i really wish i was someone more powerful than plain old VIVIAN. the kind of important people who make a difference? the kind that has an extensive network, a phone call here, a message there, and i can get problems solved. the kind that gets important things done properly. the kind that helps people solve troubles. the kind that grants people's wishes. the kind with POWER, and responsibilities.

unfortunately, plain old VIVIAN has a long way to go to reach that level.

work harder, plain old vivian. then maybe you can run for presidency.

"with great power, comes great responsibility", is the famous saying. why didnt anyonw mention about vice versa? because right now, i sure feel like a human loaded with responsibilities, yet having zero POWER.

i think i'm beyond my age. why am i thinking of all that crap?

i should be spending what little remains of my YOUTH in a happier way. you know, like, spending all the money in my bank until it goes negative. whining to my parents to buy me a nintendo DS. skipping lessons to go town with my gangs. clubbing the night away with crazy friends. sleeping weekends away. slacking and dont-give-a-heck-ing about projects. staying up late at night watching serial dramas. studying last minute just to scrape through all the exams, to scrape through my poly years with just a simple diploma.

i should try screwing up sometime. go crazy, behave like a rebel teen. maybe even smoke and get a tatoo. god knows i've been too sensible for my 18 years of living. once i pass the studies and get out into the working world, there wont be no chance left for me to side track.

okay maybe i need a dose of prozac.

or maybe they should invent an antidote for cynicism. =D

i bought this!

yup. nodame orchestra live. RHAPSODY IN BLUE IS REALLY NICE! in the pianica version. as in, really really gooooood. and nodame's piano pieces are all good! A LOT OF NICE NICE SONGS in it alright. i'm so happy with it. =)

count your blessings, vivian.

2007-11-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

BLOOOOOODY HELLLLLL.

*yanks hair*

i am going crazy doing GGT project. as in, really crazy.

really, really, very crazy.

have been sitting in front of the god damned laptop since... 4pm?!?! 5 hours straight of researching, typing, researching, editting, researching, reading, researching and - oh, did i mention... RESEARCHING???

0_o

i swear the project requirements piece of paper should be flushed down the toilet bowl for its ambiguity. one minute i think doing Catalonia is right, 5 mins later i feel like actually doing on Barcelona should be more correct. but then i think again barcelona is inside catalonia, so shouldnt it be catalonia?

okay. enough. no more changes vivian.

AND THEN JUSTINA TOK doesnt do her stuff properly this time. something must have gotten into her head. or maybe she didnt understand what she's supposed to do in the first place. she sent me once, it was wrong. she editted and sent me again, it was wrong AGAIN. grrrrrrrrrrrr.

WAKE UP JUSTINA TOK!

so. i ended up doing her share too. yep.

then john got pissed halfway while doing his part cuz google couldnt get him what he wanted, so what he typed and sent me... DIDNT MAKE SENSE!

so. therefore. right now. i am only halfway through the halfway mark.

shit. i havent bath.

and i think maybe all these is simply caused by my too high expectations. bloody hell. get a life, vivian.

i'm so stressed.

T_T

2007-11-18T00:19:00.000+08:00

mum's birthday surprise, SUCCESS. spelt with caps.

yahhhhhhhhh. i managed to get out of the house without speaking to her at all, stayed out all day, then we all met downstairs and came up with the cake to scare her to hell at night. woooot.

kinda mad lah huh.

then we had pizza, cake, durian puffs, mango puddings, peanuts, potato chips and beer. junk food all the way.

and discussed valerie's birthday present. since she wasnt around. falala. nice nice. i want her present.

yeah well miffin, next year YOU better organise something nice and sweet on my birthday. *SULKS*

maybe i should drop tourism and go over to being a birthday planner. you know, like a wedding planner. except i think weddings are overrated these days. half of all the marriages in the world end up screwed and sick anyway. so a birthday planner would be much more meaningful.

oh shit. my mum just came into my room, CRYING, says she's so touched and all. -_-

thats damn disturbing.

all the years have made her weak. i think.

or maybe theres really nothing wrong with that.

but emotions make you weak. like when you allow your team mates to free load because you feel sympathy for their troubles. or when you tutor a slacker friend who doesnt put in any effort in work, in expense of your time just to help him get better grades. or when you dont bare to demand from people anything that is expected of them bacause you feel sad for their problems and want to help.

sympathy, trust, kindness, generosity and everything else that comes with these... HUMM well, i guess i only reserve them for selected people. people whom i feel deserves them.

because if you give them all, without thought, everywhere, to anyone, then that will put you at the bottom; a person easily cheated, a person gullible and naive, a person over-trusting, a person EASILY MANIPULATED.

i think i am a CYNICAL BITCH.

worried for the rest of the year. i need to:

get 38 names on the list for dec's Malacca trip(1)
push sales of at least 200 tix for BBCO concert(2)
recruit guest players for dec concert(3)
complete FoM project(4)
complete GGT project(5)
complete OM project(6)
complete CRS reading prog(7)
complete CRS project(8)
sell off my book of SPCO tix(9)

the projects are very pressing, but somehow CO stuff is just weighed on top. heavily. somewhere between all these things i have to squeeze in AJ prom night and 17/06 chalet, which lies right in the middle of week 11, WHERE WE PRESENT ALL 4 PROJECTS IN 1 WEEK BACK TO BACK.

if vivian can survive through the rest of year 2007 in one piece, i dubb her superwoman. =)

i caught something really nice in jianhui's blog!

to meet, to know, and then to part,
thats the saddest tale of the human heart.

2007-11-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

surprise, surprise. =)

oh, the things i do when i'm crazy. someday i will look back and LAUGH.

skipped the whole of thursday's lessons, which included 3 lectures and 2 tutorials. i need the recharge earlier this week i guess.

sometimes i just wake up feeling like, if i step out of this house, into the annoyingly squeezy mrt train and into the dreadful school, well, i just might drop dead.

yeah, you get me.

so i spent thursday with wanting and ahneh. at woodlands starbucks. eating too much cuttefish and drinking too much ice water. =)

i finally found a copy of philip pullman's Northern Lights(aka the golden compass)!!! *hyperventilates* after searching high and low in millions of libraries. it was right in front of my eyes, in BizIT library! -_-

i'm such a GEEEEEEK. =D

today, we went out to have fun AGAIN. cheeky hanwee, muscle-man john, pervertic chuping and atlas-freak jordan! -_- the guys are super spastic. i cannot stand their conversations. especially the ones about justina, meiyin, and simkianhoe! *shakes head in disgust*

so we had bowling at SPGG, hanwee got PMS-ish guai lan because there was no food there, i bought my mum's present from IMM, we had a LAVISH dinner at swensons, loads LOADS of fun. HAHA!

okay the other girls are seriously missing things out. i am the ONLY girl from eighteen willing to hang out with the guys. lol. while justina goes to work at coca, joy goes home to sleep, and huijuan spends time with teckyong, I HANG OUT WITH 4 VERY SPASTIC GUYS. =\

tomorrow is an eventful day. mwahaha. i must be crazy planning such a fiasco in such short notice.

so bloody scared for the projects coming up. FoM, OM, GGT, and CRS! 4!! all due the same week 11. *gulps* thats like 1 presentation almost everyday of the week. FoM on monday, CRS on tuesday, OM on thurs and GGT on friday.

god bless us ALL. =X

2007-11-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

FoM project DOWN.

*smiles*

never felt happier. the new FoM teacher is a damn nice guy. the kind that judges slackly during presentations, doesnt do anything even when you're late for 1 hour, releases early for tutorials, do-

oh wait. he made us complete the elearning assignment by next monday. shit. okay, so he's not so nice afterall.

*sighs*

i went for wanting's brother's wedding together with valerie yesterday night. crazy us. but seeing her family was interesting!

we sat with 2 similar families; 2 pairs of parents with 2 pairs of brothers and sisters. so when wanting introduced me and val, she told us, "these are my COUSINS."

okay. so natural thought would be those teenagers sitting in one row are her COUSINS, and the 2 pairs of middle age parents are her AUNTS and UNCLES. the teens are about our age, studying, playing games on DSlite. the adults quite old and all-knowing kind.

halfway through the dinner, wanting smsed me, "eh the guy sitting beside you is my newphew who graduated from AJ."

o_0

so then i realised, the COUSINS she was referring to were the PARENTS, not their KIDS.

amazing. so they have to call wanting AH YI(aunt). lol! one of them is even older than her. about 23. woots.

wanting's daddy is SOOOOOOOO sweet. =D

2007-11-09T23:40:00.001+08:00

i'm tired.

GGT was hell. i still cant believe i wrote haiphong bay as a hanoi attraction. HAIPHONG BAY. what the hell. what was i thinking?!

shut up jordan.

today was a good day. bowling, pool, arcade, and food. and with 3 guys nonetheless. jordan hanwee and chuping. DIRTY MINDED FREAKS. *shakes head*

oh yes oh yes. there was a question in the GGT paper which goes something like this...

Iran follows a type of law based on its Islamic religion; what kind of legal system is this labeled as?
Democracy(A)
Theocracy(B)
Al Qaeda(C)
Communism(D)

JUSTINA PICKED C. LOL!!!

she never fails to amaze me.

FoM project sucks. IDEAS project sucks. OM project sucks.

sometimes i just dont want to care. sometimes i just want someone to rise up and do whatevers necessary, to give me a specific set of instructions so that i can follow through and not worry to hell about the entire project.

sometimes i just want to take a back seat and have others worry about the big picture.

i simply hate it when people dont commit whole heartedly to completing our project. dont like it when people take half hearted attitudes towards doing our project. maybe VIVIAN is the problem. vivian wants too much from people who are not willing to give. vivian expects too many people to think the way she thinks.

and that is no good at all, vivian.

cut them some slack, will you?

after 11 months of year 2007, i've come to realise that i'm not as strong as i'd like to be. in fact, i feel powerless. like i cant make a difference to anything at all. i am WEAK.

emotionally weak, even though i dont like to admit it. humanely FLAWED. like shit. too flawed.

dont know what i'll do without the close friends that i have. maybe i'm not that independent after all. i cant imagine what my life would be like without wanting, okay though it sounds lesbianic but its true! its frustrating that our lives have to diverge. that when i'm free, she's not. that when she's free, i'm not. that when i'm having holidays, she's mugging for exams. that when i'm mugging for exams, shes having holidays. -_- sometimes i just wanna keep her inside my pocket and bring her everywhere i go. i feel safer when i'm with her. =\

why cant best friends marry each other or something? i should create such a law. best friends are allowed to start a family together, albeit not as a couple. they live together as a family, looking after each other, being best friends with each other. until the day when BOTH of them find their own soulmates, then they get married together! happily ever after!

i'm turning into justina. lovey dovey wovey dreamy person. =(

so... whats so bad about that?

all that paperchase, money focuses, is making me tired.

in life, it always ends up going back to the basics, doesnt it?

2007-11-09T00:26:00.000+08:00

i shouldnt have left GGT only one day to study.

T_T

horrible module. trying and trying and trying to memorise the bloody map, but theres always some pieces missing here and there.

i remember this, and forget that. remember that, then i forget this.

AHHHHHHHHHH! *yanks hair*

not to mention the tutorials... THE COUNTRIES IS DETAIL!

SHIT man.

every single bloody city have at least one weirdly named temple/shrine. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER ALL THAT!

the person who wrote the textbook happy happy just research and throw in all sorts of names he finds interesting. "BLAHBLAH is a magnificent looking shrine.... BLAH houses a temple that is fantastic.... BLAH is acclaimed the most pleasant shrine in asia...."

fantastic, wonderful, beautiful, pleasant, huge, YADA YADA BLAH BLAH BLAH.

and WE are the ones who have to memorise every single temple and shrine in all the capitals of ASIA!

nepal's capital: kathmandu
bhutan's capital: thimpu
indonesia's capital: jakarta
malaysia's capital: kuala lumpur
china's capital: beijing
india's capital: new delhi
japan's capital: tokyo
southkorea's capital: seoul
mongolia's capital: ulan bator
myanmar's capital: rangoon
vietnam's capital: hanoi
thailand's capital: bangkok

i have never even heard of a country called bhutan, and it even has a capital call THIMPU which i highly doubt i'll ever come across in my entire life if i didnt study GGT.

and HELLO, like nepal's capital i can NEVER get it right. kathMANDU! i get stuck at KATH all the time!!! kathnampu, kathdanpu, kathmanpu, you name it, i've said it. just never KATHMANDU. *chants*kathmandukathmandukathmandukathmandu*chants*

have never heard of mongolia's capital, ULAN BATOR, either.

why cant countries name their capitals something easy to REMEMBER?! bloooody fell.

i'm not even halfway through. SIANN. still have major attractions, side trip cities, and airlines&airports of all those countries to memorise!

THERE SHALL BE NO SLEEP TONIGHT VIVIAN.

2007-11-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

WAH SHIT.

tomorrow is pacc, i didnt even touch it one bit. DAMMIT. i dunno GST! SHIT SHIT SHIT!

and i think stats today was chicken feet. maybe i overstudied it last week. hoping to get 100% for this test. =\

but tomorrows pacc.... WELL. i can go and DIE. disposal is SURE to be a killer topic. and i dunno any NUTS about GST. sooo... good luck vivian.

i need to start studying like NOW!

tomorrow is GEMS quiz no 1. OH MY FISHHH. *shivers in fear*

i managed to keep count of the hours and eat my medicine in time! kind of proud of that since i usually just cast them away after the first dose, when my body feels fine already.

I TOOK THE ANTIBIOTICS! chose one set to take and threw away the other one. one is amoxicillin, the other is metronidazole. so i took the amoxicillin.

so i hafta swallow 3 freaking pills every 6 hours, and it takes me at least half an hour. -_-

i'm scared shitless for pacc and gems tomorrow.

and for the projects next week. 2 projects due. ideas and FoM. shiat.

i'm feeling extremely stressed over nothing at all. right?

had dinner with wanting, tiffany and jess just now at J8. =D we had a nice talk... and loads of fooooood.

damn. still one pill left that i'm supposed to have swallowed half an hour ago. lying on my table, staring up at me.

he is like my pills, she says.
i cant wash him down, no matter how hard i try.

wanting taught me a new chinese saying!

一言惊醒梦中人.

PSST. this game is damn addictive.

Bloxorz

Get the block to fall into the square hole.

Play this free game now!!

2007-11-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

WISDOM TOOTH GROWING.

T_T

i'd rather be stupid and dumb. please. just take the bloody wisdom tooth AWAY.

T_T

its hurting like shit. i cant talk, i cant eat, and the worse is; I CANT STUDY.

so you see, OM paper today, was a bloody mess. my gum was aching like shit. i didnt care about what i wrote on the paper. it'll be a bloody miracle if i can PASS the damn test.

tomorrow theres STATS and all i did today when i got home was hold my aching gum and sulk. and sulk. and sulk... then i finally went to the dentist. WHO GAVE ME A MOUNTAIN OF PILLS. and a pamphlet on wisdom toothing.

i.hate.pills. and he gave me humongous scary looking ones. i've decided to skip the antibiotics. theres about like 60 pieces altogether. if i start on it, OMG, how many days do i have to spend swallowing pills?!?!

pills should go to hell. the person who invented pills should go to hell. or maybe clinics should always give an option to patients, SOLID/LIQUID? and not just bloody assume everyone takes pills.

cant they spare a thought for people with narrow throats and a phobia of swallowing humongous round SOLIDS?!

T_T

my room is in livid MESS. from all the past few days of mugging. theres no space on my loooonnnnngg table to put anything already. and i cant be bothered to pack with my gum aching. =(

wanting just told me in exchange for the antibiotics, i can take chinese medicine. LING YANG. which is the no. 1 most disgusting chinese medicine EVER to exist.

ling yang VS antibiotics.

who will win the battle?

stay tuned.

2007-11-05T00:02:00.000+08:00

MR LEE IS BAAAAACCCCKKKK! =D

so today practice was nubbad you know. i thought there'd be less than 10 people, but a whole lot arrived! so we got to try out the new piece, PA GUEY! da gui, i mean. super cute song with lots of funny tempos and annoying flats/sharps. and and and this new irritating chuida piece. -_- damned.

then after that it was hours and hours of fruitless studying. with john ruiguang wanting weiyu weijie and jeffrey. SUPER FUNNY GANG! i laughed myself silly. so did wanting. HAHA!

its damn spastic how the guys get their general knowledge. i was trying very hard to commit to memory the entire world map today. so i kept asking them questions, like, "huh where the hell is papa new guinea???"

"near australia!"

"how you know?"

"from playing RISK lor."

grrrrrrr.

and like, "whats the capital of scotland?"

"glasgow!"

"how u know?!?!"

"oh from watching soccer loh."

"oh ya you know, NY is not the capital of USA, washington DC is."

"how u know???"

"a few days ago i watch wrestling found out lo."

DAMNNN. THEY KNOW THE WORLD MAP. from watching soccer. from watching WWE. from playing RISK!

i know nothing.

downloaded atlas of every continent, scoured over google earth like shit, etc etc, just to memorise the world map. T_T

shitty shit shit... i didnt touch OM. =(

i'm such a bloody mugger lah!

2007-11-02T19:08:00.000+08:00

WELL HELLO.

the scholarly mugger went studying today again. i think i'm a really great influence on ruiguang and john. they say they've never studied this hard for poly exams before. LOL.

so you see. hang out with me guys, and you will get flying colours for your exams. =D

yeah whatever vivan.

i only touched OM, which a monday paper. i keep thinking like, if i study the rest NOW, i might forget everything next week! then how! and stupid GGT is on FRIDAY. thank goodness thursday is deepavali. i can study ALLLL day. china japan singapore thailand and asia pacific! and oh-so-many pages of lecture notes! whipee!

i love mugging sooooooo much. =)

lieing through my teeth see? =D

ahhhh hell. i need MONEY. $_$ well okay, actually, i WANT money. lots and lots of money.

i want to learn driving, i want to learn piano. i want to buy nintendo DS. i want to buy new clothes. i want to go to the australia perth study trip.

all of which, need MONEY.

if ahneh and jianhui and jess were in poly, they'll be going on ALL the study trips i guess. in AJ theres like one per year, but in poly, theres nearly 2 every semester lah. USA, India, Australia, yada yada blah blah. they can go till they SHUANG.

ahneh can keep telling mrs mano about the various educational purposes of each trip. -_- lol.

but of course, right now they're deeply immersed in mugging for Alvls.

then again, i'm no better right. mugging for MST. what a sad life. -_-

OH YES! i went to evonne's halloween BBQ yesterday night with justina, where everyone pretty much doesnt know everyone? but it was quite fun lah! all sorts of weird and funny people. and the food we bbq-ed was delicious. =) thanks evonne!

ooooh LALA. the guys in witch yoo hee are pretty HOT! =D
dennis oh is oh-so-HOT.

korean mother, american father. mix of the best genes, what more can i say? HAHA.

according to his fansite(funny fans call themselves honeybees because they think dennis is a FLOWER!), he is a ONE WOMAN guy. some girl he's super faithful to in america. now isnt that sweet and decent? as sweet as he looks! and he speaks KOREAN! yeehaw. its a cute language. wuyeyo?

espanol is much sexier of course. =)

i wanna be a multi-linguist or something. take up japanese, korean, french, italian, spanish, and errrrrrrrm bengoli!

=D

2007-10-30T21:20:00.000+08:00

okay. i went studying with ruiguang and john today. BLAH. and all i did was finish most of elearning assignments.

ONLY.

slap youself vivian.

0_o

then what did i do? play theme hospital. argh!

ahhhh shucks.

anyway, the more i think about it, the more upset i get. i mean the friend-turns-out-to-be-a-scum matter. its bugging me. real bad. LIKE, SHOULD I CARE OR SHOULD I NOT?!

there's a saying for this. something like shou bi shi rou, shou bei ye shi rou. [err loosely translated as flesh on both side of the hand?!] except of course, this time 1 side is ROTTEN flesh.

the protective and angry side of me wants to care, but the logical side of me tells me to stay OUT. besides, he already outrightly told me to stay out of it right? afterall, a relationship is between 2 people right? i'm an outsider. strictly an outsider.

if he wants to carry on lying to her, and she wants to soften and believe his lies, it is NONE of my business. if he wants to carry on hurting her, and she wants to carry on being hurt, it is NONE of my business. really. my business ended right after i introduced them, and trusted him with her.

thats the thing. i trusted him with her. trusted. thinking that she was in good hands. thinking that i'm letting a good man take care of her. *SNORTS*

instead, i was leading her right into the lion's den.

AHHHHH JUST GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HEAD!

2007-10-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

E LEARNING ASSIGNMENTS

STATS - quiz*
STATS - cd review*
OM - read Foundations of Behaviour lecture*
OM - post on discussion board*
PACC - read accounting theory lecture*
PACC - practice CD and quiz*
FoM - read Positioning & Segment Selection lecture*

MST COVERAGE

OM(mon)*
management, org. culture, decisionmaking
STATS(tue)*
sampling, estimation, hypothesis testing
PACC(wed)*
GST, fixed assets
GGT(fri)*
china, japan, SG&thailand, asia&pacific

GET YOUR FAT ASS WORKING RIGHT NOW VIVIAN.

2007-10-28T15:36:00.000+08:00

EDIT: OHhhh i love my blogskin, i just realised. =) havent had any inspirations for making new blogskins for a loooooong time. cuz... myblankcanvas rocks! =D

i put up my guzheng for sale on mocca, yahoo auctions, and ebay. woohoo. sexciting. =)

I WANT DS LITE. =(

i almost forgot: BLOODY JORDAN. he's using my dream phone, s500i. *sulks* he even bought it from woodlands, and its the LAST piece in woodlands! its sold out in a lot of places. i screamed at him. i did. LOL.

i need to starve for a few months and save a few hundred dollars. because december has a malacca trip with BBCO, and march has a bintan trip with EIGHTEEN.

our clique, and clique name EIGHTEEN, has finally begun to stuck. LOL. the 4 guys are finally accepting us as a clique, and using our clique name. after much persuasion and brainwashing. HAH! super funny people. /EDIT.

finding out that a friend is actually such a scum, is NOT a good feeling. especially when it was a good friend, a friend whom i TRUST.

T.R.U.S.T. right now, it comes in the past tense.

all in all, it makes me highly depressed. i have just been hit in the face; with my poor judgement for character, and with my misplaced TRUST. real hard.

*PIACK*

humans are fucking flawed alright. theres no doubt about that.

how can anyone still lie at such a stage? i dont know if i should be mad at the dishonesty, or laugh at the desperation.

is it that easy to decieve people? is it really that easy to BE decieved by someone?

i guess it is. afterall, this is the real world. you cant tell lies from the EYES. you cant gauge sincerity by looking into the EYES. like how novels always say you can.

its all bullshit.

all you can see when you look into people's eyes; is their freaking pupils and iris.

the rest? its what you tell yourself to see. sincerity. genuinity. amusement. scorn. love.

its all bullshit.

RIIIGGGGHHHT. i wish i was sanguine. truly.

well, at least ONE thing he said is true: what you dont know cant kill you. the more you know, the worse it is.

BUT! that does not give anyone excuse to LIE so gravely! -_-

although i told justina, "people who dont bother to find out the truth have no right to blame the person who told the lie." =\

seriously, why do i have to meet all the bad examples of humans while i'm growing up? i'm predicting that i'll probably witness murder or rape by the age of 25.
-_-

right right. i should just stop complaining and go back to the ugly world with its ugly people.

2007-10-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

YAY. i went swimming. with zinc zhixuan and wanting, at warren country club. they have nice showers. almost as nice as jurong country club's. we even went into the sauna for 5 mins. =D

its the start of Elearning week, then next week is MST. freaking fast.

we found out that mr gray has a 16 yrs old son who is TALL, plays WATER POLO, and who studies in ACS! and he's angmoh-mix-chinese! more specifically, australian-mix-chinese. which cant turn out any bad, i guess.

HAHA so we got really excited! especially justina. TSKTSK. =\

its time to all tune into mugger mode right now.

2007-10-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

justina brought us to haji lane today, and she was a happy girl, really. lol.

pretty interesting place anyways! it was around the place we went to before GYL with blackpearl to shop for team stuff.

MST is in 2 weeks time. its causing such excitement.
-_-

YAH RIGHT.

everyone's procastinating.

okay not everyone.

i want a cute fat cow on my laptop. and so i'm intending to get it tomorrow. cow cow here i come. =D

sick sick sick of weird modules which i dont like.

i want to sleep. goodnight.

2007-10-23T19:13:00.000+08:00

i hate procastination. WOOHOO.

is exactly what i'm doing for FoM and OM and GGT right now.

on a happier note, the vietnamese woman is LEAVING. yay. its mean to be happy, but to not be would be untrue of myself. =)

i hate CRS. criticial reasoning skills? its a damn big part of why i left JC. to get away from all that argumentative writing. all that P.E.E(Point, Explain, Elaborate). AND NOW. i have to face it all over again. the final semester exam is a bloody argumentative paper!

cant afford to get a big fat C for this, which i highly think i will land up with. which, of course, is going to pull my grade point average by a whole lot. =(

FoM has been, is, and will be, a huge gory mess. i'm pissed at the quality of the notes they gave us. its freaking small, lacks too many slides, and too many words cant be seen due to the photocopying. -_-

so. i need to find a new set of notes. sooner rather than later. like, RIGHT NOW. damned.

OM, is alright i guess. sheilakee is such a sweet teacher. but the module itself... HMMM. its just bullshit. i beg your pardon. but but, who on earth studies organising and management in such details?!

apparently, everyone does.

breaking it all down into definitions. whatever 8 steps decision making process. you mean if i cant decide between eating chicken rice and duck rice, i have to 1)list the problem, 2)state the pros and cons, 3)analyse the situation, YADA YADA BLAH BLAH BLAH?

YAH RIGHT. as if when a problem crops up in front of you, you would have the time to sit down, grab a piece of paper and pen, and spend 4 hours brainstorming, analysing, testing, and finally deciding the best solution. -_-

i know, i'm being ridiculously grumpy. but i think some of the stuff we're studying is really ridiculous. maybe it will help in future and i'm just insensible. who knows.

what i DO know is, CRS argumentative writing sucks big time.

because i dont like it. period.

whooot. feels great to be bitchy. =)

2007-10-21T22:26:00.000+08:00

dad cooked chilli crabs today. so the whole world came down to EAT.

and there was 2 DUCKS, a mountain of calamari, and i think a pail full of char siew. oh my fish lah. the amount of food today was... enough to feed an entire village. the whole table was food, and we all squeezed around the table, using our hands mercilessly for everything; plucking the meat, peeling the crab, sucking on the sauces, breaking the mantou. sharing everything.

all that wonderful fooood with bottles of hoesgarden... PURE BLISS. *sighs happily*

my family swears by hoesgarden. its the best beer on earth. next to tsingdao of course. =D

the whole eating scene reminded of a scene from medieval time novels where the villagers sat together to enjoy good food and great company. -_-

OH HOH. A CRAB NEARLY ESCAPED. dad bought 10. somewhen in the middle of the day when we recounted, there were only 9! LOL. ridiculous. everyone started hunting up and down the house for the missing crab.

usually my dog would have sniffed it out before it could run far. hahaaaa. but this time, we took like half an hour before sheena finally found it hiding under a pail in the balcony. RUNAWAY CRAB! >.<

my dad is a sadistic guy. the way he slaughters the crabs... he sliced the crab into half and then showed me the legs that were still twitching, laughing at it. *shudders*

shit. FoM tutorial tomorrow. we have to face the vietnamese woman. =\

2007-10-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

well hello.

it has been a nice and tiring saturday.

SO, night expedition was mighty fun! despite the fact that it was super exhausting and quite scary.

it kicks off at 8+pm in school of business, so after GGT tutorial me justina and huijuan met carrie and teckyong, and we had food at macdonalds.

teckyong left, kaming joined us, then we SLACKED all the way to the night. we are a crappy bunch. =D

okay so we started with the haunted night walk in school. immediately after we went into the mlt to register, i was paired off with jeremy to go off as first pair. me and my big mouth insulting hooker's ghostly mask. =\

POOR JEREMY. i was screaming like shit the entire time, grabbing his hand damn tight. HAHA! first we had to walk through the 4th floor staff room corridor. pitch black, with many man-made ghastly stuff lah. i started screaming when something grabbed my legs. yeah, then i didnt stop. lol. the last part where EDSMOND bloody pounded at our back was DAMN scary. even though i know its all man-made... the effect was WAH. =\

caleb lye had to stand at the end of the door and scare me as well. although he didnt do anything(he wasnt supposed to scare me)... but it was damn dark and he was damn tall. i cant believe i was so dumb; can imagine myself hiding behind jeremy and screaming my lungs out while mr caleb just stared at me thinking, "what did i do???"

LOL.

edsmond, your bloody pounding is still haunting me. =\

after that was the haunted room... its the music i tell you. they played horrendous horror movie sound effects. we had to crawl through, under, and over tables in the dark. there were hands groping my legs and hands and everywhere.

and i kicked them! yay. and screamed in whoever's face who screamed at me. and i could hear ongton's laughter lah. -_- okay i sound extremely bravo right now, but during the crawling i was scared shitless. cus the whole time i was thinking, what if one of the hands arent human's? LOL.

i ended up with 2 huge blue blacks, one on each knee. OOUCH. =(

haha yeah, and poor jeremy had to withstand my screaming the whole time. =\ he wasnt even affected by any of the scares lah! but if you're not spooked, then not fun le mah. HAHA.

next was the thai horror movie, the victim. i didnt really watch much of it. darn draggy show... there was more laughing than screaming cus of the spastic macho guys. lol.

left the school at about 12midnight i think. boarded a 48 seater coach which was led by API - Asia Paranormal Investigators.

the first destination was hillview mansion. that one was alright. cursed land, with a spectacular view of Bt timah and of the stars in the night sky.

2nd destination was chua chu kang cemetery, which was quite spooky. we had to get down the bus after cruising along the pitch black cemetery in the bus.

the tour guide was super guailan, "this spot is said to be the most xiong(most ghosts appear) place in CCK cemetery, because it is the spot of the freshly buried. so i need you all to get down the bus. *smiles*"

so we got down and stuck close to one another while they explained how people were buried, yada yada blah blah blah.

3rd destination is the johor tunnel near woodlands checkpoint. this was the worst stop; we had to trek in the jungle to get to the tunnel. and trekking in the middle of the night is no joke! couldnt even see where we're going lah. AND THEN, the tunnel wasnt even worth seeing, i think. it was just a dark stuffy tunnel with many giant lizards, lizard eggs, and broken shards of glass bottles.

there and back was about an hour. the trekking reminded me of LTC, except it was worse doing it in pitch blackness.

after that we went to punggol, supposedly a site of world war II massacre. on the way there, i think we visited the Devil's Bend. which was old thompson road. at punggol we did a bit more of trekking to see a lot of urns on the ground. it turned out to be artifacts of punggol zoo or something! spastic.

we were supposed to trek further in to find a well, the horror movie type where you can see all the way deeeep inside. but the paths were all blocked by fallen trees, so we went back to the bus. YAY.

last destination was a place deep in the woods too, but at least this time there was a concrete path to walk on. ways, there is a mini living quarters in there, i think its the house of the caretaker of the cemetery. the tombstones there are scattered and very very old.

i cant believe anyone would be courageous enough to live in such a place. =\

THATS ALL. after that last place we came back to sp, exhausted more than scared or spooked.

came home... and went straight to bed. seriously, i didnt even bath. i just changed, wrote a note to warn off anyone from disturbing my sleep, and PLOMP, i went to sleeeeeeeeeep. all the way to 2pm when valerie barged into my room and woke me up.

then i complained, bathed, and we both completed grandma's birthday album.

the dinner was at some weird teochew restaurant in bt batok. lol these years we keep having gatherings at weird places.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AHMA! =D

2007-10-18T23:50:00.000+08:00

WHEEEEET. busy busy busy.

the stupid thief didnt send me back my beloved wallet. =(

there's been so many stuff happening lately. it fees like tv dramas unfolding all around me. everywhere, but, thankfully, not on me. like whoever and whoever sort of two timing, friends secretly spying, whoever having scandalous affairs, class cliques breaking apart and trying to come back together, secrets revealed by best friend, YADA YADA BLAH BLAH BLAH.

my brain is so loaded its gonna expload.

today's PACC tutorial didnt help. information overload. disposal of fixed assets is a PAIN IN THE ASS. why cant you just throw the freaking furniture away without doing all sorts of crappy shits?! -_-

me and valerie working on grandma's birthday present... its a photo scrapbook entitled, Joy and Happiness.

and its one hell of an expensive and time consuming scrapbook. oh well, we'll do anything for our lovey dovey grandma. =D

randome pictures of whatever i did from sometime ago. -_-

this is sweet felicia i met at suntec banquet, like eons ago. exprienced regular who's just about the most friendliest staff there. =)

justina acting retard(her usual self) in the toilet with GLOVES. -_- volleyball elective is mighty fun by the way. i'm seriously considering joining the CCA. although i suck at digging, setting, and whatever they teach us. =\

shuqin's birthday at fish and co LONG LONG AGO. where they made him stand on a super high chair in the middle of the restaurant, and we sang him his birthday song. super funny.

SOOO. i havent got photos of recent activities, since i've become really too lazy to take pictures on my own. and waiting for people to send me photos suck. poo.

i cant even REMEMBER what i did recently. spco had a cute performance at NLB, where wanting came to crash. i went back to AJ on their last day of school. i'm going for SB night expedition tomorrow night. thats all i can remember.

that and its grandma's birthday this saturday.

and we pissed ms HAO LE off. we didnt do her tutorial. =\

HOW COULD I FORGET. justina tok's birthday. we spent it skipping GEMS and going all the way to her workplace, COCA, at international building, to eat. the food was alright, the soup was great, the company was fabulous. =)

happy birthday justina tok.

sorry thats the largest i can wish you. =P

2007-10-15T19:41:00.000+08:00

i broke a mirror this morning.

PRIANG.

the sound was damn drama mama. spooky.

so right now, i'm supposed to be freaking out since i am to have 7 solid years of bad luck.

strangely but surely; i met someone i'd liked to see this morning at dover, i retrieved back ALL my files when i went to self support centre to fix my laptop, i met a friendly old grandmother on 962 who felt like an old friend.

i'm counting my blessings. one by one.

and i'm counting on the thief to please send my wallet back to me. i'm waiting patiently. =)

talking to that friendly old grandma was like therapy for my heart. when we were queueing, she asked me if 962 goes to ave 5, i didnt know so i was very apologetic. she smiles and says nevermind.

then on the bus i... just smiled at her. and so she sat next to me. she wasnt sure where to alight, so she described to me the stop, and i told her its the stop after mine.

then she just OPENED UP. she began telling me her life story. i would have laughed, but she was so cute and nice and friendly. so i just chatted with her. about her children. about her grandchildren. about where she lived.

she totally had no barriers to the world around her. no defense. no facade. just a simple smile and her heart to show.

when i was alighting, i said bye and all, and told her to be careful. and the grandma looked in my eyes and said...

"thank you, you've been so nice to talk to!"

...with the most genuine smile i've ever seen, plastered on her wrinkled face.

and my heart just melted. amazing.

so after that, i walked with a bounce to my steps, and a little grin hooked at the corners of my mouth. i even smiled at the grumpy neighbours who scowled!

that's when i decided, those sulky neighbours should all break a mirror. that should change their luck a bit, like it did to mine. =)

2007-10-12T21:17:00.000+08:00

fucking pissed.

first my wallet, then 17/06, and now my laptop is screwed up.

i have to reformat the entire thing, EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF FILE IS GONE. G,O,N,E, GONE. fucking gone. all my tutorials, my stats files, my pth slides, project stuff... ALL my fucking photos!

sorry i'm cursing so much.

how nice life is treating me right now; taking away all the things that i treasure so much.

hmmmm. i wonder what will be next.

-_-

i am fucking, ridiculously, PISSED OFF.

i didnt even do anything to my laptop. fuck, i didnt even download any shits into it. forget shits, i didnt even download any PROPER stuff in it. whatevers inside is only strictly school, business, formal stuff. only whatever that is absolutely neeeded.

WHAT THE FUCK!

fuck fuck fuck.

you know, i think i might fall in love with cursing.

wheeeeet.

i am trying painfully, and desperately to be optimistic.

but all these shit is seriously fucking getting to me.

i am honest, i work fucking hard, i try to plan and organise my life nicely, and i have decent dreams.

where the hell did i go wrong?

screw it. if you dare throw one more, just ONE MORE fucking shit into my face, i swear i will....

say fuck even more.

what else can you do with life when it treats you badly?

afterall, when life gives you lemons, you take them. you take those sucky lemons and make lemonade, even if you want to have oranges instead.

oh hell, i need therapy.

2007-10-11T00:41:00.000+08:00

okay, so i lost my wallet.

big deal.

T_T

you know, i might be money minded, but i still care a lot for my memories.

i'm never going to keep anything so dear to me, inside my wallet, ever again. from now onwards, my wallet will only contain ezlink card + cash. full stop.

i'm having the INFLUENZA.

so. today was a mighty bad day. gems, then sports elective, then orchestra practice all the way to 9+pm, then losing my wallet at clementi.

my head is all fuzzy from sneezing and sniffing the whole day. blooooody flu. i wish it would just turn into a high fever once and for all. get rid of all the virus swimming in my body.

i need to mourn over my wallet properly.

to whoever who picked up my pretty GUESS wallet; you can take my ezlink card, my admin card, my kbox card, all my cash + membership/redemption cards. but PLEASE, just leave my library card, my plentiful photos, jaclyn's orange smilie note, my hongkong disneyland entrance card, my HK airport express card, ALONE. send them back to me TOGETHER with my GUESS WALLET.

afterall, they are of no use to you right?

okay i seriously think i'm fucking depressing recently. as in, i'm DEPRESSING, not depressed. yeah. i think it really has to do with the menstruation cycle. PMS or whatever shits. every little thing bugs the hell outta me. -_-

its 1am. tomorrow is a long long day. performing some crap at national library tomorrow night; leave of absence from 4pm onwards. anyway, the performance is supposed to appear on straitstimes. =\

i miss my dog.

and i'm sick.

2007-10-09T20:03:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYYYY.

sorry if i was bitchy about our project. you KNOW how strung up i am about school work. i cant tolerate half hearted efforts, and i cant afford to screw anything up in poly. i only have one shot. =\

i was SOOOO bitchy. could have slapped myself. =D

in fact, i'm a nagging piece of shitty bitch. always yelling at my group members to stop digressing and to move on with our discussion, "SHH!", "eh okay come on to our next point", "ok enough lets come back!", yada yada blah blah blah. and i always give a totally pissed face when everyone goes back to digressing again and again.

seriously, i dunno how the girls stand it. -_-

if you're not rich, not smart, you gotta be extra extra hardworking to make up for all of that.

and i'm not working hard enough. damn damn damn. =(

dont wanna be an ordinary nothing for the whole of my life, and then just die like that. i want everyone to remember vivian ang when she leaves this world, as someone who did something in her life. something strong, something impactful.

life is so so short.

dad keeps bugging me to come home to eat, and its freaking annoying. dammit. i know its unfilial to say that and he's just being daddy-ish. BUT i'm just not used to having someone breathing down my neck all the time. i'm used to total, complete freedom, and i like it just like that.

i kinda broke the news to my mum about year 3 attachment at florida disneyworld, and the first thing she says,

"where the hell am i gonna get freaking $7000 from?!"

so vivian says "but but, if i didnt get the scholarship, you would have needed to pay for my school fees right? then how were you going to pay for that initially?"

"that one i have to find ways when the time comes lah!"

-_-

so much for my dreams, really.

money is so fucking important.

i'm not gonna let anyone, anything, compromise my goals. sorry.

2007-10-07T21:47:00.000+08:00

good humour makes you laugh for 5 seconds, and think for the next 5 minutes.
-ericsoraus.

i always manage to pick out something nice from eric's blog.

there's something wrong with me. i feel like throwing up everytime i eat. and there's something hanging on my throat.

maybe i'm just worried SICK about Idea project. T_T

went to watch SCO @ The Racecourse just now, with wanting, junda and his mum. its been so long since i attended an actual orchestra concert. okay this one doesnt even count as an actual one.

but i really miss watching good orchestras perform. the feeling of... trying to receive what the musicians are conveying, and grasp what the song is telling.

i still cant break it down into single parts, like justin and wanting. anyway, music is supposed to be heard as one piece isnt it? thats the whole purpose of harmonising and letting the different parts come together, isnt it? soooo. i dont mind if i cant break it down into parts. i just listen and go with what i feel most of the time. =\

the last piece they played was a symphony orchestra piece, Slavonic Dance No 8. SO WEIRD LAH. different dynamics from chinese orchestra pieces. it sounded so... symphonic-ish. =\

jun ma ben chi was super nice. =D

i miss jin lao shi. =(

2007-10-06T23:50:00.000+08:00

went kayaking with ahbao peiru sihui and xueling today. it was mighty fun. and they are such nice friends to talk with. had dinner at manhattan fish, plaza sing. good food, nice day. spent a bomb again, of course.

so now i'm terribly tanned. and in a stunned stupor.

i'm worried sick about IDEA project. presentation is on tuesday, and we have nothing on our hands. nadah. zilch. not even a realistic product.

its farking 30%. -_-

me and my laziness. i should shoot myself.

i dreamt of my dad giving me a brand new laptop, latest and coolest in town kind, this morning. then i heard sounds and i opened my eyes, HE WAS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. damn scary i tell you.

but he didnt buy any laptop for me. =( ahhh what the hell.

my air-con has been down for more than a month. i am totally pissed at it. why must it be my air con that breaks down? there are 5 freaking aircons in the entire house. the probability is 1/5, and it had to be mine. it had to be vivian's, who's most intolerable to hot weathers in the family.

and i didnt even ill treat it. i gave it all due respect!

its a perfect case of Murphy's Law in action. whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

soo, i really hate singapore weather. what's new?

jordan, we need to improve on our singapore dome plan. we should move on from dreaming to trying, like right now. i dont think i can wait till i'm 60 yrs old for it to be constructed. =\

anyway, i'm kind of mad at the rich folks. rich kids can study overseas at the snap of their fingers. voila. just like that.

but vivian has to work her ass off, study and mug hard, source for scholarships, yada yada blah blah blah, just to get a CHANCE to study abroad. and even then, it has to be coupled with a lot of luck(or a sudden rainfall of humongous amounts of moolah).

woohooooo. okay i'm in a terrible mood laah.

2007-10-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

the depressing modules, now coupled with 3 huge ulcers planted inside my mouth, has become even more depressing.

T_T

ways, strangely, i visited jianhui's friend, disong's blog just now. (complete impromptu impulsive decision) he's errr, a good friend of jianhui's who left to study in UK London not long ago.

and i read something really nice in one of his entries! his japanese sensei wrote him something before he left for UK, which said(translated to chinese):

现在你在的地方就是世界的正中央，哪里都可以去哦！Just Do It!

in english, it says; where you're standing right now is the centre of the world, you can go anywhere! just do it!

its a nice, nice thing to say to someone who's leaving the country to study all the way in UK.

ANYWAY, i'm still very determined to take up a third language, professionally. but, POO, i have no money. i seem to have no regard for my money in the bank lately. havent been keeping stock of my spendings. havent been earning much. FINANCIAL PLANNING IS IMPORTANT!

but i'm so lazy.

and its frustrating to keep a constant tab on personal money matters. to keep checking my wallet for how much remaining cash i have on hand before every meal. to plan out how much to spend per day so as to save up. to find out that we need to buy a freaking expensive textbook and feel so sick because i have to make a huge dent in my savings yet again. to see something i really like but controlling myself not to buy it, YADA YADA BLAH BLAH.

lately when i draw MONEY, i refuse to take the reciept. dont want to find out how much is left in my account. -__-

ah, shucks. i hate being poooooooooooooor.

someday, i think, i'll just marry some rich guy and enjoy life. then i can do all the things i've always wanted to do in my life.

learn a third language. learn to play the piano(its freaking expensive to learn). tour europe. sit 1st class in an airplane. go to japan and america disneylands. take the luxurious Queen Elizabeth II cruise, and the beautiful Glacier Express. design and build a house from scratch, with a basement, swimming pool, fireplace and open air roof terrace. have lots and lots of DOGS, from golden retrievers to saint bernards. buy an art. visit the cliche america cities like New York, Los Angeles, Washington, and California. eat fresh sliced salmon sashimi from where it originated; japan. go back to korea and eat more black pig meat at jeju island. go back to hongkong and play at ocean park. see the 7 wonders of the world.

okay, i admit, its mostly travelling.

after i wrote all that, something really sad dawned on me. i have so many things i want to do, so many places i want to go, so many sights i want to see. TOO MANY. up to right now, i keep telling myself, "Someday"...

but the truth is, that day will never come, huh?

the truth is, realistically speaking, i will most probably be stuck in singapore for the rest of my life, working as a regular employee, continually complaining about the squeezy mrts, terrible weather and super idiotic citizens.

i guess some part of me is as dreamy as justina is.

-__- how much more depressing can this semester get?

2007-10-01T20:47:00.000+08:00

semester 2 is seriously.... depressing.

everyday is gloooomy.

i seriously, seriously tried my best at FoM tutorial. i swear. i opened my eyes wide, tuned on my ears to listen, shut out all the funny nonsense joy justina and huijuan were saying, AND STILL. i caught no ball.

T_T

no, its not because FoM is some freaking difficult module. its because of that vietnamese bitch. =\

i really dont like to say that. but she's freaking disorganised. everything that comes out from her mouth is just whole chunks of unsolvable information.

she just talks and talks and talks, and its like her words just hang around in the air, here and there and everywhere, and we have to pluck out her points from everything and put it into coherent sense.

for 3 farking hours. -_-

i really nearly died after that tutorial. god, save me. if i have to go through another one of her tutorial, i might become suicidal. *chokes*

i think i'm gonna cry next week before FoM tutorial. its very very depressing. =(

its been a depressing day. i really hate parents who bring their kids out and think they are the royal family or something. THINK YOU GOT A KID WITH YOU VERY BIG IS IT. -__-

this bloody idiotic mother, holding his son's hand, behind me in the queue. the son just pushed pass me. okay fine, just a young kid mah, so i step back and let him. and what did the mother do? she pushed pass me too! she didnt say sorry, no excuseme, no thank you, thats all fine with me. but she pushed me away in a "dont block my son's way" manner!

*ROARRRS*

another time, this little girl just ran and ran straight at me, looking everywhere except at the road ahead. hello, i even tried to siam her, but its like she's purposely wanting to knock into someone! WHAM, she hits me with such force i was stunned one step backwards(thats a lot for a small kid). and what did the father behind do?

he tells her daughter, "be careful! are you hurt?" and proceeds to GLARE at me with anger, like i just threatened his daughter's life.

then then then, another time. very simply, a mother just rolls her baby tram over my toes. and then she glares at me as if i tried to kidnap the baby. WTH.

WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO? T_T

i am innocent. victim to these barbaric parents whose children are the sons and daughters of satans. T_T

i swear, next time something like this happens again, i will make my stand(lol jordan and justina's famous line!). the kids can go to hell for all i care, i am gonna scold the parents in public.

MWAHAHA.

seriously. being considerate is one thing. being exploited for my consideration, WAH, it just makes me want to kill. >.<

i can go on and on and on. have had too many experiences already. =\

HAHA. yeah. it was a depressing day alright.

2007-09-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

sooooo, today was the long awaited AMAZING RACE.

it was fun. morning was spent at west coast park, where we guided the teams to complete the 3 games at the station. DISGUSTING games. *shakes head in disgust*

BUT, definitely nothing compared to the games we played before at ajc and swiss(in terms of disgust). i'm thinking about the gulping of water from pail, holding it in your mouth, then spitting it into a bottle, game. and the digging out alphabets from the soily clay-ish muddy water, game.

*pukes* soo, the apple spit game and watermelon game wasnt that bad in contrast. hahaaaaa. ajco had the watermelon game too. but it was worst cuz it was contaminated with insect repellent. =\

eeeerrrrrm. then the afternoon was spent back at SB, then travelling to downtown east with about a hundred heavy goodie bags. we had to take 2 cabs. and i gossiped a lot with ivan on the cab. =X and he told us ghost stories in broad daylight while we were having a break at downtown east. =\

anyway, amazing race was pretty fun. maybe next year i'll pull a bunch of macho gungho team together and join. first prize is a creative zen stone plus EACH leh. hahaaa.

after amazing race, me justina john jordan and chuping went to changi. justina left for CYA duties. the rest of us had a nice dinner at fish and co. YUMMY. doh then chuping left to DATE. -_-

so me jordan and john loitered in the airport. walked around T2, took the sky train to T1, blah blah blah.

spent the whole night at the viewing mall at T1 staring at airplanes. and i realised that airplanes have expressions! retarded ones. smart ones. nerdy ones. bimbotic ones. professional ones. if you look close enough, you can really tell the expression. >.<

so we just sat at the viewing mall, just talking and talking non stop; about our past travelling/flying experiences, about all the different airlines, about airline industry careers, about huge airplane accidents, about 911, about terrorists. haaaa chatterboxes!

i learnt a lot today. because john and jordan both have vast knowledge for airlines. seriously. from knowing nothing, i now know almost all the airlines and their logos at T1. =)

i did NOT know singapore airport has dropped to 4th place worldwide. what the heeellll. but i think once T3 opens, it'll catapult back to 1st place. =D

now i know jordan is actually super knowledgable. he practically has the entire world map in his head. AND he knows changi airport inside out, like the back of his hands. AND he knows all the different airlines and their standards.

AND he knows very clearly about all the huge world events! like SQ006. like that Helios flight. like september 11th.

okay, i also know whats SQ006 and 911, but i dont know the fine details like he does. like he knows 1 guy survived from the exact level where the plane crashed into the tower. because he saw the plane coming from far, screamed, hid under the table and started praying. nobody else cared about him, and they all died.

and he knows 1 woman from the tower at a level abit below the direct crash survived too. because she felt the crash, then she dashed straight out and ~~climbed~~ flew down the stairs all the way. once she ran out of the building, it collapsed. o_0

how does he store all that information in his head anyway?

and then now i'm freaking tired.

2007-09-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

oh damn, it was a spastic day today.

spent the whole of our break time laughing today. the four of us were busy thinking up of clique names. -_-

we came up with really spastic names like hellshoppers(omg lah joy, how obyang can you get?!), BHB-BigHotBabes(i cant believe that came out of justina's mouth... oh wait, actually that was extremely justina behaviour!), BangBang(?!?!?!), Hibiscus(*faints*), CYBERteens(and justina kept insisting we can get promoted to cyberadults in future.), and errr lots more i dont even want to mention here. =\

but it was daaaaaaamn funny. =D

i dont like school this semester. bloody hell. and i should stop complaining.

2007-09-27T00:38:00.000+08:00

ahhh what the hell. in life, people regret for what they DIDNT do, more than for what they DID do.

singapore is a farking cruel country. *sighs*

couple that with extremely bad weather, extremely squeezy mrt trains, and extremely "ugly" singaporeans. hummm. okay, how do i feel about our home country right now?

i'm coming close to hatred here.

but whats most annoying is, despite all that, singapore is the only place i can call home.

where i'm not afraid of travelling everywhere in the dead of the night alone. where i walk on the streets and feel familiarity everywhere. where i can smell grass in the air, see streetlights every 100metres, hear channel 8 playing on every HDB block.

i could move out of singapore. migrate to somewhere far far away with beautiful weather, deserted peaceful train rides, and polite friendly citizens. it would be soooooooo nice. but it will never feel like home.

thats really annoying.

i'm still more to migrating. or maybe long term travelling. havent changed my mind.

its just, i've realised that singapore is home, is all.

i think i'm gonna hate FOM. i'm not going to like IDEA or CRS either. accounts will be another brain-boggler module. GGT is endless words on every single slide, they didnt bother to use the "enter" key at all while writing the notes up. no paragraphs.

i think i should show our GGT lecture slides to our CRS tutor, so GGT lecturers can learn how to paragraph properly from CRS tutor. =)

school is just a turn off this sem.

2007-09-25T22:31:00.000+08:00

okayyy.

SEMESTER 2 SUCKS.

we have the weirdest teachers ever. an angmoh who speaks singlish with a tinge of australian accent(and he's probably the best of the lot already), a vietnamese who glares at anyone that makes so much as a tiny whisper in class(seriously i was only trying to get a sweet to stay awake!!!), a balding old man who speaks with saliva gathering at the corners of his mouth, okay make that TWO balding old man, and the other one speaks weirdly and monotonously.

ahem. i did NOT mention any names.haha.

was actually looking forward to FOM, but ah. what the hell. they make such an interesting module sound extremely boring. DAMNED.

there'll be hell this semester. time, pass quickly please. i want my As. i want my distinctions. i want my 4.0! =(

fine, fine. i shall work my ass off. i promise. no matter how boring and lousy the teachers are. =\

basically in every first lesson, the babies and i are just discussing whether the module is pon-able. LOL. so like, we walked into FOM first lecture yesterday, the lecturer talks for 5 minutes. then we look at each other and go, "Definitely pon-able." *nods*

then today during IDEA tutorial, we see the saliva raining in class, and we also go, "Pon-able." *nods*

GGT lecture(which is 2nd one this week already), after several draggy and cramped-with-words slides, juan tells me, "actually... its pon-able lor."

so we say, "Mmmm... yeah, pon-able." *nods*

ahhhh, well. this is how we end up with 3 most pon-able modules of the semester.

definitely NOT a good start. =\

town-ed these 2 days after school. i think we all want to enjoy ourselves properly before the massive workload smashes down on us. =X

2007-09-22T00:53:00.000+08:00

i highlighted my hair ASH WHITE.

so now i look like an old hag. premature greying hair. serious. i kinda liked it at first... but now it looks more and more like a 60 year old's hair. i think my mum looks younger than me now. =\

ahhh well. humans do all sorts of stupid stuff on impulse. at least, i know vivian does. -_-

okay. i shall let it live one more day. then i'm going to cover it up with red dye. POOOF. byebye ash white. it was nice while i had you.

the things one could do with hair. WOOHOO.

i like my stomach. no matter how much i torture it, starving then binge-ing then starving then binge-ing, after all these years, its as good as new. i can eat as and when i like, regardless of meal times. i can eat breakfast at 3am, or lunch at 6pm after 1 day of starving. or maybe eat dinner 2 times, and then starve for one day.

and miraculously, my stomach doesnt give a heck. its always my brain thats protesting. telling me i'm hungry. telling me i'm craving food court 6 fruit tarts. telling me i need to eat yakitori NOW or else.

HAHA!

so as a result, i eat whenever i feel like it. -_-

gastric pain has never ever plagued me before. i dont think i even know how to spell it. wait. is it gastrick? errrrrr.

okay LAME.

i think i'm in love with sleeping. i wake up in the morning, look at the clock that reads 8am... and i go back to sleep. if i wake up and check the clock and its before 12pm, i go back to sleep again. DAMNED. -_-

went out with juan and joy today! i'm happy! =D miss them kind of a lot. its been... what? nearly 4 weeks? =X hahahaaa and what do i make them do? wait for me in the salon/tour bugis village 4 times. SORRY GIRLS. =D

dtrm04 gathering at night... ms mak came! woohoo! had dinner at seoul garden. which i think is totally not worth it la. budden we have the subsidies so its okay i guess. lol.

i just cannot overcome the psychological barrier to chop off my hair once and for all. that would have been a nice change. but i just dont dare. must be my mum's doing. ever since she cut my hair when i was in p2, i have a phobia of getting short hair cuts. *shudders*

thanesh should know the name of this phobia. =\

so you know, as a result, i just keep changing my hair colour. again and again. LOL.

someday, i'll just SHAVE it all off man. SOMEDAY. =)

2007-09-18T23:03:00.000+08:00

Generation Y Leadership Camp 2007
School of Business
Batam 11th - 14th Sept

DAY 1
SOOO. we reported at tanah merah ferry terminal at the wee hours of the morning. okay fine it wasnt that early. 8.30am. still, nearly everyone were late. me, justina and jiayi shared a cab. SERIOUS JAM. we were in the cab for nearly an hour! =\

coached to turi beach resort. nice place with sea view, kampong style resort rooms. lots of mosquitoes. -_- we had to walk down a treacherous flight of stairs AND a ridiculously steeeeeep slope. which we all hoped we wouldnt need to climb in the 4 days.

the sea view from the top. thats the looooonnnngggg jetty.

had briefing at a room called "HANG TUAH", where most of our activties were held in for the 4 days. got our room keys. my room mates are JUSTINA and noisy YANTING. room 427.

THEN. we find out that ALL our rooms are situated atop the flight of stairs + slopes. its not simple, those stairs and slopes. its almost a full 10 minutes of pure climbing. MAD! its like trying to climb 10 storeys up a HDB flat to get to your house. =\

settled in and had lunch. BUFFET. yummy. then SB director gave an opening speech in Hang Tuah, and we were briefed on the day's activities.

which was Raft Building.

which sadly, i have no pictures to show because no one risked bringing their cameras to the sea. no one in my team, at least.

anyways, we had to build a raft from scratch with given materials(empty barrels, ropes and pipes) that can hold the entire team as we paddle against the other teams out in the sea.

HO HO HO. black pearl went against hookerwreckers and deathjackers. all 3 teams used the same design to build the raft. we were the SLOWEST in building! BUT! our raft was the only raft which didnt break apart in the sea. HEH HEH HEH.

so we went and paddled OUT! with one team in front of us, the other behind. then poof, the raft behind us breaks apart. cant remember whose. i vaguely remember seeing them struggling to cling onto the "debris". LOL. rescue boats and motorskis come to the rescue eventually anyway.

so we went and paddled BACK! by then our raft was getting shaky already. but it held on lah. near the end of the race, the raft in front broke apart! hahahaaaa. well okay, i shall not boast. our raft got stuck on corals in the last leg of the race. so we all got down. then the guys happily dragged the entire raft back to shore by foot. -_-

so the girls were left stranded in the middle of sea, standing on sharp pokey corals! hahahaaaaa! damn. we spent a good half an hour making our way back to shore.

UNTYING THE RAFT was a bloody pain in the ass!!! cuz we spent so much time making sure every single knot was tight when we tied them. -_-

the whole afternoon was gone by the time we ended the raft building activity. so we went back to rest, and then went out for dinner. BUFFET! yummy.

after dinnner! we had captains ball. SMART vs SB CLUB. prettty lame. -_- we played it in Hang Tuah. non-players were all just sitting around the "court", unblocked. so it was very congested. pretty surprised that no one got a concussion from getting hit.

captains ball in hang tuah. carpets and cushioned chairs and aircon!

CALEB! in his elf-ish look. hahahaa. "SB vs SMART, SB tuck in."

back to our rooms and a nice sleeeeep. =)

DAY 2
breakfast! buffet, yummy yummy. the whole breakfast area was brimming with our camp people.

see? =D

then was mr lee ee tat's workshop in hang tuah. for like 3 hours!!! damn. i cant even remember what the whole thing was about. i TRIED to pay attention. we all did, i guess. but... after a while, humph. our minds just drifted away. LOL.

took an entire group photo before it started.

HAH! you can see we're really attentive. its gary secretly taking photos who's not paying attention!

lishi vivian millie carrie peishan!

in the middle of the talk, there was a pretty fun exercise, albeit CLICHE. used so many times already lah. table was split into half. so one half has the picture, the other half has to draw the picture out. a communication game. we did pretty well!

from this...

to this!

that was cheesecake i'm holding onto in the 1st photo, by the way. we were fed tea time snacks during the workshop. freeflow orgasmic cheesecake and samosa! hahaaa.

so after that communication game! we started playing really spastic table games. silently of course. indian poker, murderer, hunter, polar bear, and, i dont know man, crocodiles? really stupid games! lol.

the retarded fingers game. dididididi didi!

i was so bored i drew this.

camwhoring. kaiyin vivian and carrie.

OKAY OKAY. after the boring workshop. we went for the day's outdoor activities. which was LOW ROPES.

pretty name and all, but it was just team building games.

OH YAH! THIEN HOON GOT FOOD POISONING! poor guy. he's therefore known as lao sai king to everyone. LOL.

so back to the games. we played a total of 4 games; moonwalk, pole and tyre, hotspot, and the jigsaw puzzle one. HAHA they were really gooood! showed all our flaws as well as desirable traits as a team. too lazy to elaborate on each and every game. -_-

lishi was daaamn funny during the jigsaw puzzle game.

we were all blind folded in a boundary, except kahhung and glen who were supposed to be leaders outside the circle to lead us to get the scattered jigsaw pieces on the ground. without speaking. SO; the men inside are blind, the men outside are mute.

what we had planned on beforehand was. the blind men all stand along the circumference of the boundary. the men outside will steer us in the right direction, we stoop down, they clap, we move and feel for the jigsaw pieces. once we find it, we walk backwards to the circumference and give it to one blind men collecting all the pieces with the help of the leader outside.

HAHA okay i think you need to play the game to understand.

anyway. lishi FOUND the whole damn jigsaw backboard in the middle of the circle. but she just sat down beside it, and started building sand mounds, saying "i think i'm lost... should i take the board?". for like 6 mins or so! LOL!

caleb and our guide were laughing at her like shit throughout, as i'm told later. caleb even took a video. hahahaaaa.

anyway, the other games were really fun too. clinton was dubbed SUPERHERO when we played pole and tyre. he hugged the bloody pole for dear life, while we pulled it upwards straight! now that i think back, it was pretty dangerous. =\

sooo. low ropes toook up the whole afternoon.

went back to clean up and bath, then it was DINNER. buffet again. -_- sat down together as a team to eat, and discussed about what we should do for the skit we have to put up the next night.

after dinner, another workshop. =X by mrs tan yen yen. at least i remember the name of this one. "EQ in Leadership" we were quite attentive, since the lecturer didnt seem as soft as lee ee tat. lol.

moreover, she showed us a cool video about "borderline personality". its supposed to make people feel angry/sad, but instead we all laughed. LOL. and we played a pretty fun game of guessing emotions.

after the workshop, we're given time to discuss our skit for the rest of the night. WELLLL. i see all the other groups doing up their nice props, planning their storyline.

speaking of storyline, ongton was being spastic(as usual). hookerwreckers were developing their skit in one corner of hang tuah. they clipped their whole story onto the white board lah, so we could see a rather detailed thingy going on there.

"i thought storyline supposed to have only ONE line. why their storyline so many lines de. then like that should be called storylineS liao mah!" : clinton

-_- : vivian

yah. so everyone else were intense in their preparation for the skit. and what was blackpearl doing?

INDIAN POKER!

way to go carrie vivian and clinton! you all have really big cards!

trying to get me to change my card right... DREAM ON!

carrie doing her forfeit! banana dance! come on, PEEL!

back to our rooms and SLEEEEEP.

DAY 3
had to wake up super early to have breakfast. then boarded a bus to get to a nearby lagoon to have our Kayaking and Dragonboating.

the lagoon was really small lah! and we had to wait for out turns to kayak cuz only 10 kayaks go at once. so we had to self entertain most of the time.

really candid photo. glen must have spotted a bikini babe. and leonel.... he's just plain drunk.

dragonboating was fun! blackpearl went TWICE. my right arm was so sore by the end of the 2nd time.

both times we landed with the blue dragon boat. -_-

we played a lot of spastic games again while waiting for our kayaks. had to wait a looooonnnggg time since we wanted to go out as a team.

didididididid DIU! game. spastic to the core. high-strung, adrenalin pumping game. dont play play.

see us clapping? nothing good comes out of our clapping. FORFEIT! i think this was the leonel-kiss-ivan forfeit. HAHA!

when it was FINALLY our turn to kayak, we were all tired already la. -_-

i went with thienhoon, the laosai king! HAHA! we were all paired off guy-girl. but thien hoon doesnt know how to kayak! and obviously guys are put at the back. and obviously the back person has to steer. and obviously, thienhoon being MACHO PIG, doesnt allow me to sit at the back. boooo.

so i was his SHIFU okay. i taught him how to kayak with my "ban tong shui". lol.

back from kayaking. tts darren and carrie.

coached back to the resort, bathed, and met up to have lunch and discuss our skit. by then we only had a very very simple plot and very scattered roles and props. HAHA! blackpearl was the most unprepared and slackest team. =X

rehearsed our weird skit in hangtuah untill late afternoon. then left to go back to our rooms to dress up.

a picture in room 427 before we leave for gala night. clockwise: gary carrie millie vivian leonel.

once we reached hangtuah, we finished up some last minute preps for our skit. lol by then we're still pretty messed up. we were all depending on gary and glen's impromptu acting.

took a team photo together before the dinner. photoshopped it!.

out of nowhere we just started to take these bobby head photos. HAHA.

DINNER! WOOOOHOOO! BBQ BUFFET. okay okay. we were really kiasu. look at all the food!

delicious. =)

then it was time to send our mr and mrs pirate up for the pageant. GARY AND MILLIE! hahahaa. it was so last minute, we just chucked whatever props we had onto the two of them lah. the end product was not bad!

Black Pearl Mr & Mrs Pirate!

strutting their stuff onstage.

after pageant, all the teams presented their skits! LOL black pearl was sooo impromptu. mostly it was just gary and glen adding in funny lines. i thought the SMART teams did a lot better! rumster and pirata's skits were well planned. deathjackers and hookerwreckers were all damn spastic.

after that was the cheer presentation. we thought up of an entire new cheer VERY last minute. lol everything blackpearl does seems to be last minute. but we did great in the end!

then they announced the results of the night.
best skit: black pearl!
best cheer & flag: black pearl!
mr pirate: hookerwreckers!
mrs pirate: pirata!

woooohoooo.

mass dance, which was ridiculous. -_- hahahaa. then disco night, dance floor opened. and we all stayed for some time, dancing to the crazy music, playing, going mad.

can you see us going crazy? loook at justina's back! she's sweating!

went back to SLEEEEEEP after that.

DAY 4
checkout out very early, then went for breakfast.

debrief at hang tuah, where they presented the certificates and we voted for the best 5 leaders of every team. blackpearl: clinton gary glen kahhung vivian! THANK YOU BLACKPEARL! =D

then we went around writing notes on everyone's card stuck on the walls.

black pearl took our last team photo!

after that we coached to the mega mall, ate, shopped.

then it was HOME SWEEET HOME!

the end.
------------------------------

phew. that toooook 2.5 hours!

2007-09-18T12:29:00.000+08:00

Rascal Flatts - Stand

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you’ll be alright
You’ll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand,
Then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before it's gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand,
Yeah then you stand.

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Ooohhh

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand,
Then you stand
Yeah then you stand.
Yeah then you stand.

Then you stand.

okaaaaaayyy. so i didnt blog about GYL. ahhh, laziness overcame me. =\

i really like rascal flatts. =D

2007-09-17T20:38:00.000+08:00

FINALLY finished the poster.

haaaahah. shawn and xueying's photos werent taken very well... those dammit guys kept making them laugh.

anyway, it looks like err, THIS!

YEAHHH.

i was kinda happy with it actually.

budden kelvin sent me what aijie did up for next year's SP concert.

so. aheeeem. i was totally THRASHED, as you can see very clearly.

that is like, HIGH level photoshop. taking into account colour, depth, composition, layers, shadows. AHHHH freak, everything la.

my poster is totally noob-ish beside it. T_T lol.

shall err, blog about GYL in the next post.

2007-09-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

i'm HOME. =)

feeling.... tired. well-fed. FAT. tanned. sore. satisfied. amused.

MHMM.

Black Pearl won 2 awards out of 4. *sniffs* i'm so proud of my team. we won Best Cheer and Flag(14 movie tickets), and Best Skit($140 HMV cash voucher). then i won as one of the team's top 5 leaders! which is just a bit ridiculous. but, which is another pair of tickets! =D

BLACK PEARL

glen gary millie peishan

clinton lishi vivian carrie

kaiyin darren leonel

kahhung thienhoon kevin

the 14 people who made it possible. =)

sooooo, i came home with 3 movie tickets and a $10 HMV cash voucher. >.<

oh plus a dozen delicious donuts, and 3 bottles of hoesgarden. =)

the camp was good. too good, in the lifestyle sense. the bed was soft, the room was nice, only shared by 3 people. aircon plus fan somemore! still got canopy around the two queen size beds!

the FOOD. oh my fish. the food was spectacular for a camp. i think the $110 we paid all went to the food. every single day we had buffet breakfast, buffet lunch, buffet dinner. sometimes we get tea snacks, and sometimes even supper. felt like we were constantly fed lah.

at every location we have our strenuous activities, there were ice water dispensers. -_- they were SPOILING us.

i think i've gotten FAT in the four days.

there was a huge earthquake on the 2nd day. see? what did i say about a woman's gut instinct? or sixth sense? or whatever you call it? lol.

too lazy to elaborate about the camp anymore. shall wait till i get the photos. i need to sleep.

oh yeah! year 1, semester 1 results.

BA0271 - A
MS1518 - DIST
BA0217 - B+
SP0701 - B+
LC0729 - B+

SEMESTER GPA: 3.75
CUMULATIVE GPA: 3.75

timetable is a killer next semester. its gonna be hell maintaining that GPA.

yanting got 3.9! 0_o thats the highest i've seen so far. wonder if the scholars got any full 4pointer.

goodnight, world.

2007-09-10T18:48:00.000+08:00

we went shopping together yesterday. me valerie cindy momma and kenneth. WOW. how often do we do this?

once in a few years? OH. kenneth was there too. make that, THE FIRST TIME.

so i made momma buy me a GUESS wallet. =)

pretty pretty. =D

i really dont like the thought of possibilities.

like, you know, everything should be a choice, a decision. this or that. yes or no. here or there. not in between, with loads of "maybe"s and "if"s. 50% here and 50% there. or 40% yes and 60% no.

the grey area and uncertainties; they just bug the hell outta me.

anyway. its the last day of lunar 7th month. so that means we can all touch Batam waters at ease tomorrow. =D

but, something is pulling me back and i just dont feel like making the trip. -_- its a woman's gut instinct. 6th sense. whatever you call it.

i hope the water there is as clear as redang's.

went out with the team - which is named Black Pearl thanks to caleb - today to get the final gala night costume materials. we combed the whole bugis and queensway for bandanas and other pirate-ish accesories. >.<

i havent packed yet. havent even pull out my bag. the ferry is leaving tomorrow morning 9.30am.

exam results released on wednesday, 12th sept.

coming back on friday night, 15th sept.

have yet to complete the solo concert poster, which is due 20th sept.

DAMNED.

2007-09-09T01:21:00.000+08:00

well, hello.

just got back from worrrrrrrk. poo. i think my feet is jaded.

met 2 new friends at work today. =D sweeeeeeet.

it dawned on me today that, the world is so huge. you can be so many things in the whole wide world! farmer, carpenter, scientist, doctor, lawyer, shopkeeper, newsreporter, author, singer, policeman, yada yada blah blah blah.

but. sooooo many people let physical boundaries confine their dreams.

whatever happened to dreaming BIG

i'm reading a really sick thriller right now thats about victims being buried alive in dug-up coffins. DISTURBING SHIT. damn, but life is fragile. all it takes to end a live..... is anything, actually. =\

i thought about what it'll be like being trapped in that coffin with a rotting body... what will i be thinking about? a person's dying thoughts. i have so many more dreams unfulfilled. i dont want to die. theres so much more for me to see, hear, discover and learn.

yeah. and then i'll shove at the lid with ALLL my might and shatter the bloody coffin. then i'll grab the GRAVE ROBBER(tts the maniac's nickname in the novel), cut off his penis, pop off his balls, squeeze out his eye balls, and stick him up his ass on a.... bamboo pole.

channel U is airing FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST right now! AHHH. *hyperventilates*

dreams stay BIG, worries stay small.

i have nothing else to say.

2007-09-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

was i really running towards when i left?
or was i just running away?

bleach's animation is at an all-time LOW. i hate bleach fillers. the art is horrible. =\

went out with valerie today. we talked. oh hoh. didnt realise i changed so much during the crisis period. HAHA.

i think its called hardened to life. and right now, i'm not so sure whether its good or bad. cynacism is controversial.

watched hairspray. hmmmmmmmmmmm. NOT BAD. all the 60s stuff; dance, music, fashion. preety amazing. i kinda almost stood up to dance. HAHA! too much groove.

but i was more in the mood for ratatouille! POO. >.<

also spent too much money today. =X on 2 pairs of shoes and a top. OH HO HO. someone should shoot me. =D

okay. back to nodame cantabile live action. the name that senglien will never remember correctly. seriously. -_-

2007-09-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

half a year. is all it took for me to start reconsidering. now i understand the term "premature specialisation" a bit more.

i'm not regretting. i'm just saying. i dont regret all that i've done, and i never will.

my goal is clouded, thats all.

That aside, i really like the idea of just eyes on words, ink on paper, paper folded in thirds, slotted in envelop, kissed with a stamp, left in the mail box, touched by the postman, filtered through the thousands, picked from the postbox, dropped in by person, unfolded paper, pen in hand, heart in words.

-ericsoraus

it really touched my heart. :)

blogger ate up the beautiful comment i wrote for wanting. :(

i BOUGHT the cd. piano sonata d845, franz schubert. -_-

hum. i'm a new fan of rascal flatts.

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

I hope that the days come easy
and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice,
and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one
that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside,
show the world the warmth of your smile

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you,
is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there
getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah,
and more than anything,
My wish, for you,
is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there
getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

2007-09-03T22:33:00.000+08:00

poooo. cant find schubert's piano sonata d845. so dampening! =(

had a whole freaking day of the pre-camp activities today in schoool. was QUITE fun la! hahaha.

ANYWAY. uncle che came over just now! and then i realised, uuuhhhh, he's been a coach at ngee ann poly canoe club for some time. hahahaaaaa. i always thought he was still doing his whatever stuff at kallang.

and he's developed a beer belly. *shakes head* he says being coach and being trainer is different. last time when he was still a trainer, he rides out with his students. but now. HAHA. he just stands by the side and instructs.

so he was telling me how crazily poly canoeists train, like almost everyday. and i just nod. lol.

so, so, there'll be matches in oct-nov, and he'll employ me then to go time keep if he needs someone! yay. =D

HAHAHA. playing badminton tomorrow.

2007-09-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

just finished Nodame Cantabile. :)

the water-colour animation, i felt, suited the context a lot. the art and animation was marvelous... even though most of the orchestra scenes are still images. the occasional close up takes of the musicians playing, WAH! they're really nice and flowly, and for once, they follow the MUSIC.

unlike those chapalang kind where the fingering/bowing all dont match the music. -_-

anyway, i admit i'm not a classical music kind of person. but Nodame Cantabile was able to bring out the visual images of classical music. you know, like colours and all that. so i got to know a lot more classical music. more of bach, brahms and strauss. according to nodame, strauss is pink! hur. there's this DAMN NICE song that nodame keeps playing. but i cant remember the name. errrrm.

i can never tell what colour is the music. i remember melody was the first person who told me about music having colours.

the most interesting thing about the anime is, its not some piano hunk or drop-dead-gorgeous violinist. its not swooning over this someone-who-looks-handsome-when-playing-his-instrument. shinichi chiaki is a CONDUCTOR! *cheers* now, how many shows actually do conducting? :)

other than the music aspect, ehh, Nodame Cantabile also follows the characters FEARS. chiaki has a deep rooted fear for travelling(via air/sea), so he's practically stuck in japan where he cant bring his musical talents far. nodame on the other hand, has a big problem with playing her piano properly. she doesnt like "doing what the scores say". she likes playing the piano her own way, often recomposing the famous piano pieces in her own rhythmn and notes.

i liked the franz von stresemann arc very much. :) they made him a silly pervertic old man, but really, in the end he taught them the most. albeit very indirectly.

i therefore conclude, water-colour-animation is the best. just like honey and clover. :)

I FOUND THE NAME OF THE PIECE. Piano Sonata D845, Franz Schubert.

there was another piece that i liked, an Oboe Concerto, i think its Concerto in D major for Oboe, Richard Strauss. thats the one thats PINK in colour. and the last 2nd episode's violin concerto, Carmen Fantasty by Pablo De Sarasate, that was RED in colour, and it was nice too!

OKAY. enought about classical music.

practice was kinda crap today. ended up hearing army stories from yaosheng and chuancheng again. -_- but we did accomplish some things anyway. set the dates for all the december events. have to start publicity for the solo concert. by the time i got home, my head was swimming with ideas. and i was really tired.

so i was knocked out for 2.5 hours. =X

so now i cant sleep again. its damn irritating.

anyway, i finished the whole draft poster already. my head was really swarmed with ideas and images, it was screaming at me to start. so i spent the whole night doing it up. extracting those incoherent images from my brain. argh. o_0

looks like this right now.

have to take promotional photos of wanting, ruiping, peizhen, shaoan and xueying and fill them up in the boxes! NYAHAHA. i cant wait to see the final product. :D

it looks a bit more like a poster for "live the dream" though... am thinking maybe i should change the "young talents" font. that scribblywilly font is more suited for superstar then chinese orchestra. -_-

oh poo.

2007-08-31T22:35:00.000+08:00

EDIT:
ahhh. cant seem to sleep. its already 2.30am. -_-

seems like everyone around me are pretty heavy on self-actualisation recently. i like it, really. but too much of it can be really tiring.

you have a whole life stretched out in front of you to self-actualise, to make mistakes and learn from them, to find out the principles of life, to find out what makes everyone tick; a whole life to discover about life, and being human.

why rush? :)
/EDIT.

i just realised something! 12 sept is the release of examination results. and i'll be all the way in bloody BATAM then. generation Y camp! 0_0

but on a happier note, i'm in the same group as lishi and clinton. =D =D =D

yesterday, work was horrible. i am never going to work 2 days consecutively. my feet is still sore right now. i was perfectly energetic and fresh after ending work 12 hours later even though i slept only 1 hour... in fact i could go on for another 6-8 hours more lor. BUT. my feet. oh my fish. my poooor feet. they were in agony in those damn heels!

GRRR. and jovan didnt let allow us off after 8 hours. we had to do 12 hours.

i nearly broke down and cried the 4-5 hours i spent standing at the lift landing, doing nothing but greet guests and press buttons. OH MY FISH lah! for nearly 5 hours, it was just me, the pain, and 6 lifts.

the pain was... excruciating. the whole time i kept telling myself, '"okay. okay. deeep breath. think zen. ZEN. think peace. lush green fields, comfortable soft soil. blue sky. cooling breeze. come on vivian! you can do it! DETACH! detach yourself from the pain!"

and then the lift goes dingding! and i have to change my facial expression from grimace to happy, and get ready to greet.

i think i'll never be a good loyal soldier. if the enemies make me go through that excruciating pain, i'll immediately speak.

oh HOH. make the men wear heels and stand on one single spot for 12 hours. lets see if they'll last!

prasad was imploring me to go back to work today as well. understaffed. and i just told him, "let me wear flat shoes, then i'll work." >.<

the maddening thing is, i wasnt even tired! i can work for 2 days without sleeping, and i've got no problem with that at all. its just those damn heels that are killing my feet. half the time my brain is fighting the pain. first my toes hurt... then it spreads to the soles. then to my calves. then slowly to my thighs. its like a deadly disease!

there must be some way around this. its ridiculous. all of the girls can work twice as efficiently and last twice as long if they put us in flat shoes. i thought through a lot of possible solutions during that 5 hours i was attending to the lifts. from eating painkillers to flat shoes that have illusioned heels. all of which, of course, dont exist.

HAHAHAH. okay i should stop complaining lah. anyway, the job itself is really good. i learnt a lot about service. serving, clearing, wine, table settings, about different beverages, yada yada blah blah blah.

learning about the wine was really interesting. how to hold it. how to pour it. how to ask. how to keep. and the best thing is, we get to practice doing the real thing during the dinner. i mean, how many people are going to let you practice pouring precious wine? you cant depend on imagination and just theory knowledge, you have to use real wine to practice to get the exact feeling.

and especially champagne. that horrible bubbly wine. horribly difficult to pour. have to tilt and do it veeeeeeerrryyyyy slowly. faster by a bit, and it will bubble over the top. so. who on earth is willing to let you practice pouring with the real, expensive champagne for free huh? maybe for wine can use imitation, like just put water in the wine bottle and practice pouring, cuz they are almost of the same texture. but no other beverage has the same texture as champagne.

oh ho ho ho. so it really is a goood learning experience. =D

minjun called me this morning 5 times, before i finally picked up her call and grunted a sleepy "what you want...". HAHA! -_-

so. we went back to swiss! a lot of us, actually. 4e5-ians. i'm surprised at the number of our guys who went back! but then again, actually every teachers day the guys make the effort to go down. on the other hand, this year for the girls, only me minjun and xiuxuan went. HAH! chatted with mr lim a lot. then a bit with mr ngoh.

we took a picture altogether in front of the school hall. because mr lim says the next time he sees the guys, they'll probably be in NS already. so he wants to spot the differences. LOL. so next year during teachers day, we will go back to the same spot, sit at the same position and take a picture together again. =)

went for lunch together at pastamania after that. then i went to ka jiao senglien and shaheila at jurong east library. LIEN, you dont have to act proper in front of me la please. HAHAHA. -_-

then. had dinner at causeway point with ahneh and wanting. =) its terribly comfortable to be with old friends. too terribly comfortable. especially when i compare it with working... where there is stress, exhaustion, insecurity, unfamiliarity. at work, sometimes i feel like my nerves are stretched to breaking point. today when i met up with ahneh and wanting, i just sat back, kicked off my slippers and really relaxed.

and it felt so good. so comfortable. almost sinful. >.<

saw justina and her gang of PIGLETS at causeway. LOL. finally met qiaoer, whom justina says resembles me alot. haha! i can sense the same aura. =\

i want a 12 hour sleep. my dog refuses to let me. =(

2007-08-30T02:41:00.000+08:00

OH HOH! its 2.45 am right now, and i have to report to work at 7am later. thats right, i'm doing crazy shifts at oriental again. >.<

you know, the core of the problem is the bloody HIGH ~~HELLS~~ HEELS. yes yes. i can easily do another stretch of 10 hours of banqueting, IF ONLY my poor feet is in a pair of flat, comfortable shoes.

BUT. thats the whole point you see. they have to make us suffer in those damnable heels. cuz, apparently, it looks more professional and pretty and pleasant. which is true, i guess. but still.... ARGH!

i really dread putting my feet back into those heels in a few hours time. they're so bruised and aching now! T_T

anyways. today was outdoor catering! i dont see any difference actually. inhouse is MUCH better. ahhh whatever. i'm doing 8 more hours later, and no more. fullSTOP.

the transport sucks, by the way. i got up the mini bus at 12.45am, and reached home at 2am. -_- there were like 18 people to send home, dispersed over bishan to yishun area.

this morning attended some scholar workshop, AHA! so many people skipped it LAH. dots. it was meaningless, cept i had a gooood laugh with the spastic few. LOL. we played spastic games. and so on. oh well, the tea break pastries were worth it. =D

ran away after lunchtime to go to work, SO, i managed to escape the video shooting of the speech. NYAHAH. but i do wanna see how everyone else did. =X

i am BLOOOODY hungry. T_T shall wake up at 4.30am to eat maggi mee.

good night world.

2007-08-28T21:20:00.000+08:00

joy's ridiculous quiz. =D

[x] I know how to make a pot ofcoffee..nescafe 3 in 1
[ ] I keep track of dates using acalender.
[ ] I own more than one credit card.
[ ] I know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] I know how to do my own laundry.
[ ] I vote every election.
[x] I can cook for myself.
[ ] I think politics are exciting
[ ] I balance my checkbook.
[ ] My parents have better things to say than my friends.
Total:3

[ ] I show up for school/college/workevery day early.
[ ] I always carry a pen in mypocket/purse.
[ ] I've never gotten a detention.
[X] I have never smoked a cigarette.
[ ] I have never gotten completely trashed.
[ ] I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.
[x] I like to take walks by myself
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[x] I know what 'credibility' meanswithout looking it up.
[X] I drink coffee at least once aweek.
Total:5

[x] I know how to do the dishes
[ ] I can count 1 to 10 in anotherlanguage.
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
[x] My parents trust me.
[ ] I can mow the lawn.
[ ] I can make adults laugh withoutbeing stupid.
[ ] I remember to water the plants.
[x] I study when I have to.
[ ] I pay attention at school/college.
[x] I remember to feed my pets.
Total:5

[x] I can spell 'experience' withoutlooking it up
[ ] I work out on a regular basis.
[x] I clean up my own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know me byname.
[ ] My favorite kind of food is takeout.
[ ] I have gained weight sincemiddle/high school.
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake upis get caffeine.
[x] I can go to the store withou tgetting something I don't need.
[ ] I understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[ ] I can type quickly.
Total:3

[ ]I have realized that the weatherforecast changes every hour.
[ ] My only friends are from my placeof employment.
[ ] I have been to a tupperware party
[ ] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are overthe age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] I have more bills than I can pay.
[ ] All(most) my friends are olderthan I am.
[x] I can say no to staying out all night.
[x] I use the internet every day.
[x] My wardrobe hasn't changed in awhile.
[x ] I can read a book and actuallyfinish it.
Total: 4

OKAYS. apparently if i add up all the numbers, i can find out the age when i GET MARRIED. which is erm..... 20!

siao.

haha funny quiz though. JOY's. dunno where she got it from. =D

suntec banquet was okaaaayyyy. easier than oriental. =)

anyway i think being tired puts me in a foul moood. ARGH!

2007-08-27T20:07:00.000+08:00

i'm watching Nodame Cantabile!

and its amazing! about classical music and orchestras. i dunno nuts about classical music, but i still find it a good anime. there's something Chiaki will learn in every arc, even though he's already a very super music student. because he's always on top, he has missed out on everything below, which is essentially the very foundation of music. and thats kinda very true isnt it? harmony of music cant be achieved just through technical skills alone. harmony of people is important to harmonise music, to give it live, in a sense. and thats kinda what Nodame Cantabile is bringing across to people.

maybe the live action version is good too. errrhum.

working bright and early in the morning tomorrow. WHICH MEANS, i'm not going to the scholars workshop. ooooops. =X

working on wednesday and thursday too. OUTDOOR CATERING! yay. =)

this morning was the extremely spastic balloon sculpting lesson. with clinton, lishi, beeam and weijian. only one word can describe it: SPASTIC! but okay lah, i had a really good time laughing over it with the rest. we made deformed dogs, obese bumblebees, mutated flowers and some weird shaped hearts. gave all my balloons to mskim mrsphua and mrkwok at saa. NYAHAH. =D

okay thats all.

2007-08-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

well, hello!

i'm in a good mood. =D

i think i'm just really Bipolar. having mood swings this often cant be normal.

this morning was cc open house. 1hour performance. where i *AHEM* screwed it up twice. fang pao. errrrr. OKAYS. i guess its been quite some time since i went up stage. right? i'm always making the rest do it. like err shawn and junyuan. =X whoooops.

met sheila today. SHE'S SUCH A SWEETIE. so anyway. she studied while i read my book. i was distracting. HAHA! half the time we were eating and talking. and watching videos. like little britain. ahhhh well. i cant wait till Alevels are over. even though i'm not taking it.

100 days more to go.

.....then you wont need plasters anymore.

plasters should heal you not cut you!

-jessica

oh hoh. oh ho ho ho. jessica, you are so beating me in the game of life, dont you think? i swear the words coming out of your mouth soon needs to be recorded and framed up! stop being so scarily, philosophically TRUE! o_0 haha...

tomorrow morning is balloon sculpting lesson! yipee! =D

2007-08-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

i'm still thinking about s500i. =(

okay anyway. PTH paper was difficult. period.

exams are OVER. but everyone's still having them la. J2s having prelims very very soon. dont really understand how they manage to stay alive through all that slogging. waking up everyday at insane hours, sleeping at ungodly hours. trying to understand and memorise very complex and useless stuff.

heavy eye bags, black eye rings, and overtied hair; significant traits of JC students. o_0

i finished HEROES today. =)

charging up for working.

i am superbly stupid. and quite enlightened by wanting and jessica.

its really tiring to be alive.

2007-08-23T01:10:00.000+08:00

THIS. now, this beautiful looking thing right here. its called the Sony Ericsson s500i.

it has got to be the most beautiful phone i've ever seen. =)

my samsung flip, which i've been so happy with for so long mind you, PALES in comparison. actually, my samsung flip looks like thrash beside this s500i. o_0

i KNOW i'm not supposed to indulge in these luxuries. but but. this phone is BEAUTIFUL! =\ i dont care even if it's functions suck. i just want a beautiful phone that i will never get sick of looking at. and this one here fits perfectly! nyahahaha.

i am going to wait for the price to plummet down, then grab it. its retailing at like 500+ bucks right now. as much as i LOVE it, i am not stupid enough to spend that much money on a phone whose price is going to half in a few months time. okay. maybe not a few months. maybe in a year? it must fall in a year, right? =\

and no no no. the by-the-time-this-phone's-price-falls-better-phones-would-have-come-out crap doesnt work on me. no no no. once i eye on a phone, i dont let it go. nyahah.

unless, of course, an even more beautiful phone is invented. which is not likely to happen because mobile phones now are all about functions, whatever 3G, camera shits blah blah blah. look at the nokia phones now. YUCK. so ugly. =X

oops.

yar so this is my new love. s500i. *swoooooons*

too bad its not available in neon orange. =(

tomorrow is PTH paper. finally. i'm so sick of all the tourism and hospitality theoretical shits already. every waking minute, my brain is trying to recall details and points from the lecture slides. otherwise, i'm staring at the slides trying to memorise them. GRRR.

had dinner and talk with wanting and jessica today. AHHHH SO FULFILLING. =)

I LOVE THEM. REALLY. =D

2007-08-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

i finally got to reading harry potter and the deathly hallows. finished it just now. its bloody brilliant(come to think of it, i picked up "bloody" from harry potter!). i kind of lost interest in it by the time book 7 came out. the wait was just too looonnnnggg.

Ron Weasley: He must've known I'd run out on you.
Harry Potter: No...he must've known you'd always want to come back.

then it was so expensive. then everyone started reading it anyway. then people started talking about it like nuts. so i heard spoilers plentyful even before i saw the book cover! SOOO. duh. i completely, didnt feel like reading it anymore.

Harry: Is this real? Or has this been
happening inside my head?
Dumbledore: Of course it is happening
inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not
real?

but anyway, the plot bugged me too much, so i read it lah. and it was good! the start was too hasty, people were getting married, dying, getting pregnant etc, so fast that i couldnt keep track. the middle was toturing actually. i ran through the whole middle. =X but it was still good. i guess maybe it was finding out the truth that felt so good. FINALLY the pieces of the puzzle fit together. =)

When he straightened up again, there were six Harry Potters gasping and
panting in front of him. Fred and George turned to each other and said together,
"Wow -- We're identical!"
errrm so many characters died, that i got jaded already. only dumbledore and sirious' deaths in the previous books got me affected. the deaths in this book were kinda.... rushed. no time to think over it. they just die and the plot moves on. >.<

"You must kill me." [Dumbledore]
There was a long silence, broken only by an odd clicking noise.
Fawkes the phoenix was gnawing a bit of cuttlebone.
"Would you like me to do it now?" asked Snape, his voice
heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an
epitaph?"

the ending was errrm, happy. but not typically. okay it was typical. but typical in an un-typical way, you know? ahhh i dont know.

i kind of expected harry to die and the book to end with a BLAST. with many many meaningful quotes yada yada. you know, that sort of ending. BUT, it didnt! i didnt expect rowling to do this sort of ending. happily-ever-after kind of endings. the many-years-later kind of ending. its cliche, yet not so cliche when she does it. i like it anyway.

but i still prefer Cassandra Claire's fanfiction version.... so much more deep. =X

tomorrow's the last day of studying. for some time at least. yipeedooders. =D

2007-08-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

I JUST WENT TO LOG IN AT BLOGDRIVE. o_0

went for suntec banquet interview today with jordan and justina. nicely done. they have bigger scale functions, like 5000-8000 people. WOAHH. thats like 800 tables. >.< starting there next week anyway. threw in our booking slips at oriental too. tough, tough work coming up. working two sides. will be good to know whats its like at suntec banquet too. =D

need to work my socks off to fill up my bank again. yay.

then maybe we can apply at ritz carlton. grand copthorne. try out all the high end hotel banquets in singapore. HAHA!

i am so SICK of pth. roars.

bahh. i want an overseas university scholarship. am going to work hard for one. =)

2007-08-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

OKAYYY. i think someone just passed away.

that is a STUPID statement. there are people passing away every minute, right?

right. anyway. i want to say "I understand how it feels.", but you know, i also understand that even if i said that, it wont make a difference. because. I KNOW. it doesnt. nothing anyone does or say is going to make any difference. death is a damn difficult thing to handle. losing Grace made me learn a huge lesson.

but it IS true when people say, "She continues to live in our hearts." all thats lost is the physical being. the memories we have of her still stay on earth.

its just so hard to face the fact that, all hope is lost.

hope is a NASTY thing, i tell you.

oh mannnn. email is being an ass. i cannot attach over 10MB worth of files. GR. technology is not so nice after all. i'd rather we all had hard copies.

irritating.

I MISSED PRACTICE TODAY. i know i know. STUDY LAR.

studied with wanting at woodlands library. kangling dropped by with the full sets of PTH notes. WEEEEE THANK YOU!!! =D i was going crazy staring at the blanks. hurmmm.

then! at night, we joined angela and thanesh at bt panjang for pasar malam-ing. where we spent a lot of time walking there from bt panjang plaza cuz the bus takes too damn long to come. and where i wasted a lot of precious money on loads of bullshit. totally.

but as ahneh said, by increasing our marginal propensity to consume, we are contributing to the nation's consumption, which will then cause aggregate demand to rise. graphically, the AD curve shifts rightward, thus overall output will rise, and THAT, of course, benefits us in the long term. =)

THE NIGHT WAS PREETTYY. and cooling. so it was super nice just walking and walking and walking, talking about everything under the ~~sun~~ moon.

hm. i realised that blogspot has an autosave draft function. how thoughtful! no more ridiculously-eaten-up entries when my computer hangs. or when connection happens to get cut off. WHICH, is not happening anymore anyway. my computer is now STRONGER than before. =)

pain in the ass to have to carry my laptop everywhere i go studying now. AND i have to look for places where there is a power point. to PLUG my laptop. grr.

i forgot to tell justina to meet tomorrow morning for the job interview. SHIT. realised it at 10.30pm. "SHIT! she CONFIRM sleep liao!"

she better wake up early tomorrow.

i need to sleeeeeeeeeeep. and stop thinking about PTH.