Sunday, August 31
BLAH BLAH!
DOODLED at 10:44 PM
Wednesday, March 26
bye.
PS. this means, i shifted.
DOODLED at 12:30 AM
Wednesday, March 19
AUGUST RUSH is amazing. =)
DOODLED at 11:19 PM
Saturday, March 15
i need to CHANGE.
or so i think.
or so i think.
DOODLED at 3:38 PM
Friday, March 14
wa lao eh.
FOE was exhuastion, coldness, sweat, sore throat, sticky fingers, and more exhaustion.
started working on it from monday night, then on to whole of tuesday, then on to the whole of wednesday, THEN slept over wednesday night, then on to whole of thursday for enrolment. WHAT THE HELLLLL.
the sleep over was horrible. -_- the whole point was to get MORE sleep since reporting time on thursday morning is freaking 7am. but we ended up only sleeping 2 hours; thats for the more sane people. as for the insane people, they went around hiding people's stuff everywhere in the room, then climbed out the gate to walk all the way to clementi to eat fishball noodles and back.
afterwhich, the sane people got really pissed. felicia jocelyn and lishi all woke up to find their spectacles + handphones+ slippers gone. and the room was pitch DARK. -_- so we ended up swapping the insane people's bag's content around. DARRYL KOK'S SIMPSONS BOXERS ended up in edsmond's bag. =)
disturbed night. =\
i really thought on thursday we're all just gonna drop dead somewhere around noon. had totally no energy left to do anything.
BUT. surprisingly, we still can get damn high. especially when the tourism year1s came... me darryl edsmond and jordan all geared up in recruiting. almost everyone we briefed on signed up for the camp. =D
anyway, we talked till our throats were sore and our voices changed sexy! repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat until i nearly went CRAZY. everyone got so familiarised with the content that we spoke like bullet trains without pausing.
"HELLOimVIVIANfromschoolofbusinessclubwelcometoSB!sorightnowihavetobriefyouon2thingsfirstlyitisFOPfreshmenorientationprogrammewhichisa4dayseventthateverySPstudenthastattenditiscompulsorysonowletslookatyourFOPbrochure1stdaywillbeBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH."
woohoo.
but it was all worth it. we hit the cap of 200 by mid afternoon! so all the waiting list people can go fly kite now. =)
stripped the room with bloody hell lots of effort together with everyone. and home sweet home where i knocked out till this morning.
NOW, we're going to the ZOO ZOO ZOO, how about YOU YOU YOU?
FOE was exhuastion, coldness, sweat, sore throat, sticky fingers, and more exhaustion.
started working on it from monday night, then on to whole of tuesday, then on to the whole of wednesday, THEN slept over wednesday night, then on to whole of thursday for enrolment. WHAT THE HELLLLL.
the sleep over was horrible. -_- the whole point was to get MORE sleep since reporting time on thursday morning is freaking 7am. but we ended up only sleeping 2 hours; thats for the more sane people. as for the insane people, they went around hiding people's stuff everywhere in the room, then climbed out the gate to walk all the way to clementi to eat fishball noodles and back.
afterwhich, the sane people got really pissed. felicia jocelyn and lishi all woke up to find their spectacles + handphones+ slippers gone. and the room was pitch DARK. -_- so we ended up swapping the insane people's bag's content around. DARRYL KOK'S SIMPSONS BOXERS ended up in edsmond's bag. =)
disturbed night. =\
i really thought on thursday we're all just gonna drop dead somewhere around noon. had totally no energy left to do anything.
BUT. surprisingly, we still can get damn high. especially when the tourism year1s came... me darryl edsmond and jordan all geared up in recruiting. almost everyone we briefed on signed up for the camp. =D
anyway, we talked till our throats were sore and our voices changed sexy! repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat until i nearly went CRAZY. everyone got so familiarised with the content that we spoke like bullet trains without pausing.
"HELLOimVIVIANfromschoolofbusinessclubwelcometoSB!sorightnowihavetobriefyouon2thingsfirstlyitisFOPfreshmenorientationprogrammewhichisa4dayseventthateverySPstudenthastattenditiscompulsorysonowletslookatyourFOPbrochure1stdaywillbeBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH."
woohoo.
but it was all worth it. we hit the cap of 200 by mid afternoon! so all the waiting list people can go fly kite now. =)
stripped the room with bloody hell lots of effort together with everyone. and home sweet home where i knocked out till this morning.
NOW, we're going to the ZOO ZOO ZOO, how about YOU YOU YOU?
DOODLED at 10:10 AM
Monday, March 10
soooooooooo.
my hair is in a mess.
in the midst of creating a new blog skin.
i set my alarm wrongly at 7.45PM, and thus was late for FOC meeting today. =X
we did quite some work for FOE room tonight.
AHHHH i'm a freaking KOALA.
i need to do something to my outrageous hair.
darrylKOK is a damn funny guy who has no apples. HAHA!
everything is turning upside down. or maybe, i was just too ignorant to notice. or maybe, i was just too stubborn to acknowledge.
10000BC turned out to be a nice show, PHEW. evelette is PRETTY!
TOMORROW! FOE preparations.
my hair is in a mess.
in the midst of creating a new blog skin.
i set my alarm wrongly at 7.45PM, and thus was late for FOC meeting today. =X
we did quite some work for FOE room tonight.
AHHHH i'm a freaking KOALA.
i need to do something to my outrageous hair.
darrylKOK is a damn funny guy who has no apples. HAHA!
everything is turning upside down. or maybe, i was just too ignorant to notice. or maybe, i was just too stubborn to acknowledge.
10000BC turned out to be a nice show, PHEW. evelette is PRETTY!
TOMORROW! FOE preparations.
DOODLED at 11:54 PM
Friday, March 7
watched an episode on qian xian zui zhong, regarding ahmeng's death.
T_T
i guess 48 years is already a very long life to have lived, for an orang utan. still, its going to be different in the zoo for everyone, i think. when i worked there, every morning without fail, sam would take ahmeng for her morning walk. occasionally, when the other orangs throw tantrums and refuse to show at their photography/breakfast sessions, ah meng would fill in for them. so grandmotherly. *sniff*
i miss the zoo. the booth. siti, atiqah, fatin, alin, auntie yvonne. and my boss, whom i so cruelly forgot the NAME. shit. and all the orangs... chomel is the only name i remember. and who's that sweet presenter who's always gossiping with us... cant remember her name either. blah. my memory is failing me. oh and the snakes at breakfast! ramon, and the other one... forgot his name too. and mohsen from the jungle restaurant! oh-so-friendly.
poo. poor sam. 37 years of caring for ahmeng...
ANYWAY, went back to AJ to see the rest collect their A level results today. shan't comment... only that, i thank GOODNESS i quit school. =X
whats over, is over anyway.
T_T
i guess 48 years is already a very long life to have lived, for an orang utan. still, its going to be different in the zoo for everyone, i think. when i worked there, every morning without fail, sam would take ahmeng for her morning walk. occasionally, when the other orangs throw tantrums and refuse to show at their photography/breakfast sessions, ah meng would fill in for them. so grandmotherly. *sniff*
i miss the zoo. the booth. siti, atiqah, fatin, alin, auntie yvonne. and my boss, whom i so cruelly forgot the NAME. shit. and all the orangs... chomel is the only name i remember. and who's that sweet presenter who's always gossiping with us... cant remember her name either. blah. my memory is failing me. oh and the snakes at breakfast! ramon, and the other one... forgot his name too. and mohsen from the jungle restaurant! oh-so-friendly.
poo. poor sam. 37 years of caring for ahmeng...
ANYWAY, went back to AJ to see the rest collect their A level results today. shan't comment... only that, i thank GOODNESS i quit school. =X
whats over, is over anyway.
DOODLED at 11:03 PM
Thursday, March 6
after downloading millions of brushes from deviantart, and 3.5 solid hours of staring into my computer, i actually managed to come up with something. vivian is proud of herself. for once.
EHHH. i need the crack to unlock photoshop CS3 in my laptop. QUEK TENG YEOWWWWW! send it to me pleeeeaaaseeeeee. =X
SP orchestra practice today. mr lee wrote a new song. 舞曲。(Wu Qu) and i think its a nice song.
humm. collecting sponsorship items tomorrow. GAHH.
school is starting damn soon. i dont feel rested. =(
the enrolment package this year is too pretty. thats not fair.
YEO RUI PING is in school of business, DBA. woohoo. ken got into DMAT. and jiajia is in CLS.
theres something missing.
who cares. i'm going to watch my favourite RABI whack people with his hammer now. toodles.
DOODLED at 12:07 AM
Wednesday, March 5
RABI ; from d gray man.
mmmm. katsura hoshino is a genius to have created this character. =D
Oodzuchi Kodzuchi BAN BAN BAN! (grow GROW GROW!)
his hammer rocks. HAMMER TIME!
DOODLED at 12:24 AM
Sunday, March 2
so they're all the same.
i'm afraid of a lot of things. its called, PANTOphobia, i believe. the fear of everything. what a silly fear and i wonder which nonsensical person thought of it. nothing is part of everything, so if i'm afraid of everything, then technically, i'm afraid of nothing, too. right?
urghhh whatever.
i'm afraid of everything, i dont even mind saying i'm a coward.
speaking of cowards, i watched a show once, where the host of the show asked the live audience, "Which of you are cowards, please raise up your hands." no one raised their hands. then the host proceeded to say, "Which means, all of you ARE cowards. True cowards dont dare to raise up their hands."
well.
i'm afraid of a lot of things. i cant do so many things because i dont have courage. i dont like heights. i cant swallow pills. i'm afraid of the dark. i dont like to eat sour stuff. i dont dare to wear contact lenses. neither do i dare to trim my eyebrows because of the pain. i dont like playing SOLOs. i cant cycle. and truth be told, LO AND BEHOLD, i dont like leading either.
but people like to change these things of mine. like they see it as a problem, they could help to solve it.
they tell me, "Vivian, you can CONQUER your fear of heights! force yourself to look down. cross that bridge a million times a day. just do it. i know you can do it. you have to overcome this!"
but, why?
they tell me, "Vivian uh... wear contact lenses lah! really. you can do it de. its not painful at all... just try. just one time! i guarantee you can wear it. dont need to be scared!"
but... why?
they tell me, "go pluck your eyebrows lah vivian! its not painful. the most, only painful for first few times. after that not pain le. really. just try lah. no need to be scared."
but. WHY?
they tell me, "... just swallow the pill lah. put it at the end of your mouth, drink water, swallow! so easy. you can do it de. whats there to be scared of?? keep doing it. you'll get used to it."
but, why?
they tell me, "vivian. its really your turn to do a solo this time... seriously, why dont you try? you should! i know you're scared. everyone also will scared mah. but you must OVERCOME that, and do one solo at least!"
but.... why.
they tell me, "ahya, just cycle a bit around here, then you can do it already. it just takes some warming up. you can do it de. once u learn how to cycle, you can sure cycle de! just try a few rounds here, then we go out. come on vivian, dont like that lah, we must go cycle together!"
why oh why?
try it. try it. just try. once only. really. just once. try it. just try it once. try it try it try it try it try it try it try it TRY IT TRY IT.
bloody hell. they're all the same. everyone of them.
well, dont mind me. this... THING just struck me in the middle of nowhere today. may i ask, but whats wrong with cowards anyway? i like being a coward. i like being scared of everything, and i like doing all i can to stay inside my comfort zone, and i like doing everything i can to avoid all my fears. what the hell is wrong with that anyway? i just dont get it. really.
OR, maybe, theres just something wrong with vivian ang. maybe.
today. orchestra practice was FLOODED with people. especially woodwinds. dizi had to split into 2 rows. extremely rare sight. which was... nice. even though during combine the music we played was... HORRIBLE. but just, once in a while, when there are so many people at practice, it feels so hopeful. =)
went to watch PAYCO perform at esplanade Beautiful Sunday after practice with the lot of people. the supermario song was cute. their dachangjin was very nice. fell asleep at the last song though. dont like it. hah.
i guess certain people are just not suited to be in bb. afterall, i admit we ARENT improving much. every week, practice after practice, we're making the same mistakes. and there are so many weaker players to coach, to guide. so its natural that people of higher standards wouldnt want to stay with us. if you're climbing upwards fast, you'll just fly pass bb if theres nothing there to bind you down.
but bb isnt about being the best, it isnt about being the greatest orchestra technically, it isnt about performing magnificent, superb songs, and it isnt about showing to the public how good and fast-improving an orchestra we are.
its about the fun of playing in an orchestra, its about helping each other, its about giving all you have even if its just a little bit, its about letting also the not so "great" players have a chance at being soloists, its about a bunch of kids who love playing in an orchestra so much that they need to just have one more session every week, and its about this bunch being bonded, and being together through it all.
so, even if we have moved only one tiny step for 5 whole years of effort, it doesnt matter, because we did it all together, in tears and in cheers. =)
P.S i had to bold this because i didnt know i feel this way for BB until i wrote all that down. how therapeutic.
i'm afraid of a lot of things. its called, PANTOphobia, i believe. the fear of everything. what a silly fear and i wonder which nonsensical person thought of it. nothing is part of everything, so if i'm afraid of everything, then technically, i'm afraid of nothing, too. right?
urghhh whatever.
i'm afraid of everything, i dont even mind saying i'm a coward.
speaking of cowards, i watched a show once, where the host of the show asked the live audience, "Which of you are cowards, please raise up your hands." no one raised their hands. then the host proceeded to say, "Which means, all of you ARE cowards. True cowards dont dare to raise up their hands."
well.
i'm afraid of a lot of things. i cant do so many things because i dont have courage. i dont like heights. i cant swallow pills. i'm afraid of the dark. i dont like to eat sour stuff. i dont dare to wear contact lenses. neither do i dare to trim my eyebrows because of the pain. i dont like playing SOLOs. i cant cycle. and truth be told, LO AND BEHOLD, i dont like leading either.
but people like to change these things of mine. like they see it as a problem, they could help to solve it.
they tell me, "Vivian, you can CONQUER your fear of heights! force yourself to look down. cross that bridge a million times a day. just do it. i know you can do it. you have to overcome this!"
but, why?
they tell me, "Vivian uh... wear contact lenses lah! really. you can do it de. its not painful at all... just try. just one time! i guarantee you can wear it. dont need to be scared!"
but... why?
they tell me, "go pluck your eyebrows lah vivian! its not painful. the most, only painful for first few times. after that not pain le. really. just try lah. no need to be scared."
but. WHY?
they tell me, "... just swallow the pill lah. put it at the end of your mouth, drink water, swallow! so easy. you can do it de. whats there to be scared of?? keep doing it. you'll get used to it."
but, why?
they tell me, "vivian. its really your turn to do a solo this time... seriously, why dont you try? you should! i know you're scared. everyone also will scared mah. but you must OVERCOME that, and do one solo at least!"
but.... why.
they tell me, "ahya, just cycle a bit around here, then you can do it already. it just takes some warming up. you can do it de. once u learn how to cycle, you can sure cycle de! just try a few rounds here, then we go out. come on vivian, dont like that lah, we must go cycle together!"
why oh why?
try it. try it. just try. once only. really. just once. try it. just try it once. try it try it try it try it try it try it try it TRY IT TRY IT.
bloody hell. they're all the same. everyone of them.
well, dont mind me. this... THING just struck me in the middle of nowhere today. may i ask, but whats wrong with cowards anyway? i like being a coward. i like being scared of everything, and i like doing all i can to stay inside my comfort zone, and i like doing everything i can to avoid all my fears. what the hell is wrong with that anyway? i just dont get it. really.
OR, maybe, theres just something wrong with vivian ang. maybe.
today. orchestra practice was FLOODED with people. especially woodwinds. dizi had to split into 2 rows. extremely rare sight. which was... nice. even though during combine the music we played was... HORRIBLE. but just, once in a while, when there are so many people at practice, it feels so hopeful. =)
went to watch PAYCO perform at esplanade Beautiful Sunday after practice with the lot of people. the supermario song was cute. their dachangjin was very nice. fell asleep at the last song though. dont like it. hah.
i guess certain people are just not suited to be in bb. afterall, i admit we ARENT improving much. every week, practice after practice, we're making the same mistakes. and there are so many weaker players to coach, to guide. so its natural that people of higher standards wouldnt want to stay with us. if you're climbing upwards fast, you'll just fly pass bb if theres nothing there to bind you down.
but bb isnt about being the best, it isnt about being the greatest orchestra technically, it isnt about performing magnificent, superb songs, and it isnt about showing to the public how good and fast-improving an orchestra we are.
its about the fun of playing in an orchestra, its about helping each other, its about giving all you have even if its just a little bit, its about letting also the not so "great" players have a chance at being soloists, its about a bunch of kids who love playing in an orchestra so much that they need to just have one more session every week, and its about this bunch being bonded, and being together through it all.
so, even if we have moved only one tiny step for 5 whole years of effort, it doesnt matter, because we did it all together, in tears and in cheers. =)
P.S i had to bold this because i didnt know i feel this way for BB until i wrote all that down. how therapeutic.
DOODLED at 9:55 PM
happy 21st to NGHSIENHAN.
its good. to turn 21, i guess. its a really happy thing. to be alive and kicking and in pink of health and officially let everyone know that you have just turned 21 years old.
that you have endured this shit, called LIFE, for 21 solid years. no mean feat hmmm.
sometimes i do things and feel strangely dettached. like i'm outside of myself, watching everything happen as an outsider.
my doors and windows wide open, faint light flowing into my room, my curtains flapping around in the wind, hearing distant sounds of the tv from the living room, and hearing my dad's occasional coughing. its come to a point where i am used to going to sleep like that. too used to.
DAD! where are you. come home now please, and switch on the tv. so that i can go to sleep in peace.
its good. to turn 21, i guess. its a really happy thing. to be alive and kicking and in pink of health and officially let everyone know that you have just turned 21 years old.
that you have endured this shit, called LIFE, for 21 solid years. no mean feat hmmm.
sometimes i do things and feel strangely dettached. like i'm outside of myself, watching everything happen as an outsider.
my doors and windows wide open, faint light flowing into my room, my curtains flapping around in the wind, hearing distant sounds of the tv from the living room, and hearing my dad's occasional coughing. its come to a point where i am used to going to sleep like that. too used to.
DAD! where are you. come home now please, and switch on the tv. so that i can go to sleep in peace.
DOODLED at 12:52 AM
Friday, February 29
i SCREWED my body clock.
no longer suicidal, but, still, depressed. T_T
really now, this is weird.
its time for CHANGE.
no longer suicidal, but, still, depressed. T_T
really now, this is weird.
its time for CHANGE.
DOODLED at 10:06 PM
Wednesday, February 27
my results are disgusting.
this is just wrong. i studied so frigging hard. its just not fair. how can it have fallen so much?
so this is how true failure tastes like.
nothing has ever stunned me this much. feels like... a big, tight slap across my face.
what is this. this sense of loss. this... forlorn lost. i feel like i was thrown into the tossing waves of the ocean, something's grabbing at my feet, pulling me under.
this is so melodramatic, vivian. its just GPA. its just... 3.5.
but to work this hard, and in the end to get nothing and less for it; it feels horrible.
"You reap what you sow."
what a LIE.
i slept the depression away. its feels sick. bloody hell sick. i looked at my grades this morning, immediately closed it and went back to bed, hiding under the covers, hiding from reality.
and everytime i open my eyes, everytime i come back out of my vague dreams, someone's voice is there, taunting me, repeating my bloody disgusting GPA into my ears. so i tell myself to go back into the comforts of my dreams. where nothing is real.
i finally got up at 5pm to get OUT. to walk aimlessly. to immerse myself into senseless magazines. drinking green tea. feeling, amazingly, empty.
so this is how much it could impact me. putting my whole soul into a single goal, but getting nothing and less back.
its not fair.
i think i'm going back to sleep.
this is just wrong. i studied so frigging hard. its just not fair. how can it have fallen so much?
so this is how true failure tastes like.
nothing has ever stunned me this much. feels like... a big, tight slap across my face.
what is this. this sense of loss. this... forlorn lost. i feel like i was thrown into the tossing waves of the ocean, something's grabbing at my feet, pulling me under.
this is so melodramatic, vivian. its just GPA. its just... 3.5.
but to work this hard, and in the end to get nothing and less for it; it feels horrible.
"You reap what you sow."
what a LIE.
i slept the depression away. its feels sick. bloody hell sick. i looked at my grades this morning, immediately closed it and went back to bed, hiding under the covers, hiding from reality.
and everytime i open my eyes, everytime i come back out of my vague dreams, someone's voice is there, taunting me, repeating my bloody disgusting GPA into my ears. so i tell myself to go back into the comforts of my dreams. where nothing is real.
i finally got up at 5pm to get OUT. to walk aimlessly. to immerse myself into senseless magazines. drinking green tea. feeling, amazingly, empty.
so this is how much it could impact me. putting my whole soul into a single goal, but getting nothing and less back.
its not fair.
i think i'm going back to sleep.
DOODLED at 9:24 PM
Sunday, February 24
TIRED.
out of doing weird stuff.
ice skating was fun! and i didnt fall, since i didnt forget how to skate. =D poor carrie lishi and jocelyn fell so many times! OUCH!
out of doing weird stuff.
ice skating was fun! and i didnt fall, since i didnt forget how to skate. =D poor carrie lishi and jocelyn fell so many times! OUCH!
i gave carrie my childhood gloves; ie the above COLOURFUL cute ones! HAHAHA! her hands are a perfect fit with them.
friday; had scholars workshop the entire day. some talk about current affairs. it was initially kinda interesting... but. once the indian speaker came... it became rather hard to concentrate. he speaks like a train! -_- learnt some new stuff anyway.
we were briefed regarding our overseas CIP trip as well. SIANNNN. more money to pay. 0.o
while me clinton and lishi were waiting for the rest to arrive for night walk recce, we stayed in the clubhouse to play spastic games. like errr JENGA.
which clinton LOST in. MWAHAH.
but after which he totally owned us at monopoly. i was really broke by the end of the game. T_T
while waiting at the bunk, we watched movies and played spastic games like heartattack. -_-!
started the nightwalk recce at 1am. SP is freaking scary in the night, thats all i can say. dunno how i'm gonna be calm and collected during the actual nightwalk. T_T especially when there are fake ghosts hanging around every corner! siannnn....
anyways. look at this picture and tell me, which square is darker? A or B?
the answer shall be revealed in the next post. =)
oh yes oh yes, youth olympic games in SINGAPORE! yay! although that probably means singapore is gonna become even squeezier. =(
DOODLED at 12:34 AM
Monday, February 18
my legs are itching to ICESKATE.
and tomorrow is the day.
though i've probably forgotten how to skate, and so am gonna fall all over the ice with carrie jocelyn lishi felicia and some other org comm people.
by the way, i insist that JUMPER is a good movie, though so many people tell it in my face that the storyline sucked, the start was adrupt and the ending was sudden. but no, NO, NO! JUMPER is a good movie. *nods*
night walk during the camp is gonna be so freaking scary. entire org comm tried out the route today, and it was already pretty scary at certain parts... in broad daylight. imagine at night! *SHIVERS!*
cecilia and vivian were sent into the U-shape female toilet... both ended up screaming and running out, even though there was NOTHING in there. -_-
so i announce myself a BIT more courageous right now. first time i ever met someone thats more of a coward then myself. CECILIA! she screams and jumps at seriously every single thing. o.0
this friday, we're gonna try out the route at midnight. i want to go into the same group with aliyo. =(
and tomorrow is the day.
though i've probably forgotten how to skate, and so am gonna fall all over the ice with carrie jocelyn lishi felicia and some other org comm people.
by the way, i insist that JUMPER is a good movie, though so many people tell it in my face that the storyline sucked, the start was adrupt and the ending was sudden. but no, NO, NO! JUMPER is a good movie. *nods*
night walk during the camp is gonna be so freaking scary. entire org comm tried out the route today, and it was already pretty scary at certain parts... in broad daylight. imagine at night! *SHIVERS!*
cecilia and vivian were sent into the U-shape female toilet... both ended up screaming and running out, even though there was NOTHING in there. -_-
so i announce myself a BIT more courageous right now. first time i ever met someone thats more of a coward then myself. CECILIA! she screams and jumps at seriously every single thing. o.0
this friday, we're gonna try out the route at midnight. i want to go into the same group with aliyo. =(
DOODLED at 7:31 PM
